Wednesday, June 28, 2006


This world has gone mad, it did, seriously. Maybe not the whole world but certainly most of the Iraqi people have gone mad, especially the government. The minister of commerce threatened to sever the diplomatic relations and to cancel contracts for buying wheat from Australia because the Australians shot, by mistake, one of his bodyguards, who were also his relative. Its funny isn't it? I mean think about it. I'm not talking about that poor guy's death, because that's not funny at all. What I'm talking about is how this man, the minister, thinks that this ministry is his own, like he inherited it from his father or grandfather, he is talking about canceling contracts for buying wheat, and for those of you who don’t know, we make bread out of wheat, and we eat bread,breadd is very essential, that means for the death of his relative he is ready to starve the Iraqi people. Isn't that funny? Bear with me a little, ill get to the point right away, but first I want to tell you another story, not a very long time ago, maybe a year ago, Iraq's ambassador to the United Nations raised hell because one of his family was killed by the Americans. He demanded a full and immediate investigation of the incident, and demanded also to pursue legal actions against the people who killed his cousin. He demanded that they be tried for their crime and receive a fair punishment for the atrocity they have committed.
This is so funny it that it made me cry my eyes out. You know why? It's because none of these guys said a word about the people, innocent people, who were brutally murdered in Haditha. Not a single word and not a single objection. And why? God knows why, and I bet even god doesn't know why those guys didn't say a word. I didn't hear the minister of commerce threaten to sever the diplomatic relations with America and cancel the deals to buy American wheat, I didn't hear that the Iraqi ambassador to the United Nations filed any complaints to the security council when those people were murdered like he did when his cousin was. And by the way that was a first in the United Nations history. Its funny how we let other people fight our battles. It was Times magazine which published the story first, it was the American public who reacted to story first, it was the American press who stormed the white with questions, and what did our government do? They were the last to say anything, like those peopl weren't Iraqis at all, I bet if they were aliens who came from another galaxy, the Iraqi government would have shown a lot more interest in the subject. Old people, some women and couple or more children were murdered Mr. Primerime minister. Who killed them? He asks, Zarqawi? No sir. Saddam? No sir. Insurgents? No sir. Then who god damn it? The Americans sir. NO WAY, the Americans don't kill nobody. But sir they were executed. Ahh, see what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the Iraqis sir. NO WAY. Yes sir, Time magazine published the story. Well my son, if they were Shiite I'm going to make these American assholes wish they were never born. No sir, they were Sunnis. Well son, they probably had it coming on themselves.
I just want to ask the Iraqi government and whoever has the audacity to support and defend the men who murdered those people, just this one thing, why does a 4-year old boy have to die? Anyone? Somebody please explain to me why do I have a dead 4-year old boy? What sense does it make? What purpose does it serve? How would you feel if I came to your house and killed your son? What would you call me? Murderer? Terrorist? But when YOU come into MY house, and kill MY women, and MY wheel-chaired father, and MY 4-YEAR OLD SON, then they are all just COLLATERAL DAMAGE. Collateral fuckin damage. Have you no respect? Have you any respect?
When a guy sings a song about using a little girl as a human shield you call him talented, and you call the people who felt offended by the song trouble-makers. Talented? Are you kidding me? I have been listening to music all my life, I love music, I love rock, but to call that talented is just a disgrace to music. And to say that lyrics are "funny" is just plain stupid, and forgive me for saying that, but whoever laughs to those lyrics is just stupid too. What has gotten into you? If you don't believe that there are people who think this guy is talented, just Google the song, I did that myself, and I found this blog, where this girl says that she is sick and tired on the Muslims in America because they protested against that song and the guy who wrote the song, and she calls the guy talented. I mean seriously, leaving all emotions and biases aside, were they serious? Does he really think its funny? Please, if anybody listened to the song and found anything funny about it, please please please explain it to me, cause maybe I'm just stupid or my English is not that good to understand the catch.
Moving on. Prime minister wants reconciliation. AT LAST, it's a good step; actually it's a great step. Although I had doubts about him but it seems the man is meaning well, and he is trying to prove that he means well. This should have happened 3 years ago, it would have saved us a lot lives, and we would have had a lot less blood. But you know what they say, better late than never. One thing though, if he wants to exclude the baathists, the saddamists, and Zarqawi followers, who would be left? I mean those people are the backbone of the resistance or insurgency, whatever you want to call it. He wants to review the debaathification policy, which is a great thing. A lot of the intellectuals Iraq are baathists, and many of them were forced to join baath party, and many of them have white hands. In fact many of them have whiter hands than those who threw them and posses power now. And those were the people running the country, and if you ask me they did a much better job than the new guys. I'm speaking skill-wise, not to be mistaken for a saddamist. Another great thing is that he wants to dissolve all militias, including his own party's. I wish all people be included in this process of reconciliation, except those whose hands are stained with Iraqi blood. I wish all of those criminals face fair trail, and get their fair sentence. Would it work? I certainly hope so.
I did not want to write about the reconciliation, but I did. I wanted to leave it to another tim, but I didn't, I drifted from the main topic. I wanted to talk about the indifference when it comes to Iraqis being killed, especially from thier government. I guess I said something, and I'm sorry if I used some language, but that is just the way I feel. Sorry again.
Last but not least, they say time heals all wounds, but it seems that every day my countries wounds just get deeper and deeper, sometimes but its own people, and sometimes by the hands of other people. Time is slipping away, and it maybe something that we don't have. That reminds me of a poem I once read
"But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariots hurrying near"
I don't remember where I read it, or who said it, and maybe its not relevant, but anyway, its nice. Enjoy.
And buy the way, good luck for Argentina in the world cup. I'm a big fan. If there is any Argentineans reading this, I'm with you guys, all the way to the cup. This is just a blessing, during these 2 hours we forget about everything else, even me, the pessimistic, sarcastic, depressed, and desperate Iraqi, and in shorter, your typical Iraqi. In college I used to smile a lot and at anyone, some people even hated me for smiling a lot, my girlfriend hated it and thought I was crazy, I was just satisfied with my life, and had big prospect for my future. They were some happy times, good old times. Long gone though. Anyway its 4:00 am and I should go to sleep.
Good night and God bless all.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006


First I want to thank the people who encouraged me; I appreciate it more than you think. Thank you people.
It never makes me happy when someone dies, ever, I would feel guilty if it did, seriously. But this time, I couldn’t help it, I wasn’t exactly happy, relieved is more like what it felt at the time. It wasn’t because I had any affection for that son of a b****, non whatsoever, but I had some personal problems that put so much stress on me. But anyway, it wasn’t a bad week at all; I have had my good news.
Maybe this the first time that I think the Americans did something right in Iraq, although there are a lot of holes in the official statement, although they threw a 500lb laser guided missile on him, although that missile has a circular error probable of 8 meters, although this missile melted the iron and turned the house into rubble, Zarqawi's buddy was virtually intact, or so it seemed. Anyway…. I can't tell you the truth, because simply I don’t know the truth, I don’t even know if he really existed, but anyway, it doest matter, he is dead now, isn’t he?
It is not the man whom I hate, it’s the thought that killing innocent people is O.K., it’s the thought that doing some grotesque, repugnant, and unholy things like beheading people, innocent people I might add, and be happy about doing it, this thought just sickens me. The thought that they think that god had ordered them to do it, the way they do there things and say the name of god make want to throw up, the thought that someone wears a explosive belt and kills himself with several other people, whom only fault was being there at the wrong time, shopping at local market to go home and feed their children. The thought that children are considered targets, and children are being killed like there is nothing to it, and believing that god is O.K. with killing children. The thought that every non Muslim is a target, even if he or she dedicated his or her life to help other people, regardless of their religion, some one like Margaret Hassan. The thought that they can say who is going to heaven and who is going to hell, that thought that they can judge people, the thought that they can kill anyone who has so much as a different opinion, that thought that they think they have the power to condemn people, the thought that they could say who lives and who dies.
This is just sick. I never want to hate anyone, alas, I'm a humane being and I cant help, but I'm trying with all my might to love and forgive the ones who do me wrong, the ones who hurt me, and the ones who hurt, and are hurting my country, I try so hard not to hate them, I try to stay positive, I try to believe it is not my place to judge, I try…. But it is just so hard. What I do hate, on the other hand, is the thoughts that these people have, I hate that they have no respect for humane life, and not just those people by the way, Iraqis I mean, I hate every dictator that ever lived on the face of this earth, I hate everyone who thinks who he is better than anyone else, I hate the people who think that the road to being better must be painted with blood, especially innocent blood. I hate people being killed, any people, anywhere in the world, I hate it when Iraqis kill Americans, I hate when Americans kill Iraqis, I hate it when Israelis kill Palestinians, and I hate it when Palestinians kill Israelis. This is just sick, and I am sick because I hate, I am sick because I have the same feelings the same people I hate have, what makes me so different from them? I want to be rid of this feeling, I want to be free.
This is so overwhelming, this is so powerful. I hate, I am hate itself, but maybe these people are braver than me because they channel their hate into action, am I a coward? Am I a coward because I don’t want to kill anybody? Is it right just to sit there and watch while other people are doing it for me? Is it right when I just sit there and let my feeling eat me from within? Maybe I am a coward, maybe I'm not brave enough to kill, I don’t know that. But these is one thing I know, that I have some courage in me, just a little bit, to try and love those who hate me, those who think that I am a coward because I chose love over killing, and those who want to kill me. Maybe I am not honest enough with myself, but at least I try. Maybe I am not honest enough with other people but at least I try that too.
Call me crazy, but who is more courageous? Then one who kills? Or the one who turns the other cheek? For me it’s the second one, and I wish I could have enough courage to turn the other cheek.
And you know what I wish too? I wish that people like Zarqawi to be tortured in hell, I only wish for these people to spend eternity just looking at their victims' eyes, just watching what their hand had done, I just want them to feel the misery and pain the inflected on their victims and their victims' families. Dante's hell is not enough for these people; even his seventh circle is not enough for them, they must feel the pain they did to other people.
If I ever go to hell, and I most probably will with the hate I have inside of me, I promise you that I will try my best to come back and tell about these people, and where they ended up, except of course if winded up locked in a room with a lesbian and beautiful women, being the coward I am, it would just like Sartre's hell, which he defines in one sentence, "hell is other people".
Anyway…. enough with all the philosophical, existential crap about me and lets get back to main topic today. One down, I-don’t-know-how-much-but-sure-as-hell there-are-way-more to go. Maybe the next one will be Mr. Bush, and don’t get me wrong I don’t want him dead, not ever, all I want is for him to be out of office and exposed in front of the whole world with his friends the neocons for all the lies the said, and for the deception and the manipulation of the great American people.
Take care my friends and hopefully we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If there is a tunnel.