Monday, July 10, 2006


Depressed as ever, feeling guilty, feeling that there is no meaning to me existence, useless, invalid, sitting on my chair, in front of my laptop, trying to write something, trying to get all of it out from my system, listening to Fairuz, this angelic voice that soothes me and brings out the memories, the good and the bad, the bad being predominant, lost in the realm of nostalgia and regret over mistakes and bad judgments that I made through out my life, I sit here.
I see what's happening, I see people die, I hear their cries, I listen to their agony, I watch them going straight through the road of their demise, and I can't do anything to stop it. Life is very much over-rated; guilt is very much under-rated.
I want to tell you a story; it's in Arabic originally, so I'll try to translate it to English.
Once upon a time, when the crusaders took over Jerusalem, they say that a man from Jerusalem fled the city, and went to the capital of the Islamic world to seek help to save his city. Everywhere he goes, people ignore him, everyday door he knocks, he gets nothing but silence. Feeling that people are indifferent to his cause, seeing they were busy with trivial matters, while their land is being invaded and their brothers are being slaughtered, mercilessly butchered by the hands of the invader and his puppets, he had an idea.
It was Ramadan, the month in which all Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset, he asked to do the speech after prayer in the biggest mosque in the city, being a well known man and from a well known family, he was granted his request.
So he got up the platform, and sat on the stairs, pulled a piece of bread out of his pocket and started eating in front of all the people whom were watching him with shock and surprise, which, a few moments later, turned into anger and upheaval. It is strictly forbidden for someone to show that he is not fasting during Ramadan, anybody who does that is punished with public lashing in the city's central square. Anyway, our friend stopped the people who were coming at him, and he told them to be quite and listen to what he was going to say, they all listened anxiously, then he said" you get furious because one man is eating while you are fasting, and you do not show the slightest concern that your brothers are being slaughtered?"
Mr. prime minister has realized that the American troops have immunity, and wants to "discuss" this matter with the Americans next time they convene. The Americans are feeling "dissatisfied" with these statements from the prime minister. Our elected representatives feel that the government should lift this immunity and cancel the order which Paul Baraimer issued when he was head on the CPA, which gives this immunity to the American soldiers.
That’s all nice…. One question though, did it really take that long for you to realize that? 150,000 Iraqis died, more than 50(some say 500) are dying daily in Baghdad, people can’t even bury their dead, and now you tell that you wont to lift the immunity and dissolve the militias? Now?
I mean do they really care? The little girl was raped and murdered almost 2 years ago, and nobody paid any attention. The story was forgotten, until one of the accomplices came out and confessed. Where was the Iraqi "sovereign and independent" government?
Now I hear people saying that the girl was 25 years old, not 15. You are kidding, right? Does it matter really? Does it make the crime less hideous? Does the age of the victim make the man who committed that crime less criminal? I hop this man gets justice for what he had done. As a matter of fact I hope all rapists get what they deserve, I despise rapists, especially the ones who rape children, these people are not humans, and in fact they are the exact opposite of what a human being should be.
I don’t what's going to happen, and I don’t know the out come of this trail, but I know this…. I want justice. Someone would tell you that the world is neither black nor white, and there is a big shade of grey between the tow. They might tell you that the law can not be black or white, and maybe that is true.
But justice is not grey, justice doesn’t have any color, justice doesn’t deal with race, ethnicity, religion, or background. Justice doesn’t care if that man was an American hero who came to free the Iraqi people from the tyrant, justice doesn’t care if the girl was 25 or 15, justice doesn’t care if what the fanatics and the neocons say, for justice is blind to all that.
I wasn’t justice for the victims of Saddam, I want justice for the victims of the ugly American occupation, I want justice for the victims of the religious fanatics, Sunni and Shiite, I want justice for every child killed, every mother who lost her child, and every women who was raped physically and raped out of her god-given right of being a humane being. I want justice for all.
Is that possible? I can only hope so. But I tell you this, no matter how long it takes, justice will prevail. Justice will come after the people who lied to the American people and convinced them of war, for all the wrong reasons. Justice will come after the ones who claimed they were democratic messiahs, and turned to be nothing but sectarian fanatics, common thieves, and traitors to their country. Justice will come after the ones who kill others in the name of god, despite the fact that the almighty was very clear on this in his 6th commandment "thou shalt not murder". Justice will come after all people who called Saddam names, but done a lot worse than he did. Justice for all.
Whatever happened to the "land of the free, home of the brave", whatever happened to the leader of the free world? In order for you to be free, other people should be suppressed? In order for you to be safe, other people should die? In order for you to enjoy your rights, other people's rights should be taken away from them?
I love America, I love what America stands for, I love the notion that there is some place in this world where anyone's dream could come true, I love the idea that is that place everybody is equal and the law is above all. But that ceased to be true for America. America stopped being what it tells other people to be. It has turned into a mean nation. And I'm sorry for that.
But I still have faith in America, although American seems to be O.K. with everything, the lies about the WMDs, Abu-Gharib, torture planes, secrete prisons, unlawful detention without fair trial, or any trial, unlawful and unconstitutional wire tapping, and the biggest joke of all, a stupid president who thinks god speaks to him on a regular basis.
Now our elected government wants reconciliation, but it doesn’t want to reconcile with anybody. Now I agree totally to exclude the ones who killed Iraqi people, but what about other groups? What about other people? I don’t know what they are thinking; I don’t know what reconciliation they are talking about?
I haven’t received any answer yet to my question, I asked what do I have a dead 4 year-old? And now I want to ask another question. Why do I have a raped 15 year-old girl? Anyone?


At 5:14 PM, Blogger jae said...

"But I still have faith in America,"

I am glad you do.
I don't.
My heart and my country are both broken.

"Although American seems to be O.K. with everything, the lies about the WMDs, Abu-Gharib, torture planes, secrete prisons, unlawful detention without fair trial, or any trial, unlawful and unconstitutional wire tapping, and the biggest joke of all, a stupid president who thinks god speaks to him on a regular basis."

Not all of us. Most of us are not. Most of us, when asked, will say that it is NOT ok. But with the election stolen out from underneath us, what is it that we can do? If we protest, we are arrested and sprayed with burning chemicals. I do not even put an 'Impeach Bush' sign on my car or home because those who still believe he is a good president are violent and dangerous. They frighten me. The government of this country frightens me. Do you know there is a Civilian Inmate program and over 600 'camps' ready for American citizens?

At 5:18 PM, Blogger jae said...

Here is what I have been told is a 'watered down' version of the Civilian Inmate program as posted by the US Army.

At 4:43 PM, Blogger care4all said...

Some of us have been doing what we can. We are controlled by a Republican run congress with a do-nothing attitude.
I have organized Impeach Bush rallies. I have called my representatives, even confronted a Republican Rep. in a public setting to ask when he will call for investigations which might lead to the impeachment of Bush & others in his administration.
I put a 4 X 8 "Impeach Bush" sign in my front yard. When my township sent a letter about the size, I made it smaller, then began to put signs out on a regular basis as issues arise on Bush policy. One read, "Nixon Resigned Over Lesser Crimes." I am involved with a local Democratic group and am writing for our e-newsletter.
I am involved in helping the campaign of a candidate running against the Rep. I confronted with a question, who has done nothing to uphold our Constitution and rule of law, but chooses to be a Bush lapdog. The candidate I support wants us out of Iraq and the killing to end.
I also have been getting petition signatures calling for legislators to mandate that our new voting machines requie a paper trail for verifiablity, without which we have no democracy in America.
Most of my effort and time, it seems, has been for naught. For, as long as Republicans control our country and continue their fraud, lies, deception and fixed elections, we will not be the once great nation we were in the eyes of the world.
This November, Americans will vote in an important election. Though many are ready to give Democrats their vote, Republicans may see to it, thru voting machine fraud and voter suppression, that once again, conservative extremists hold control of our country. Americans like myself, who are awake and paying attention will be appalled once again, while most Americans continue to go about their days ignorant to the fact that our country, our democracy, our Constitution, has turned to dust without their blinking an eye nor shedding a tear for what has been lost.

At 5:20 AM, Anonymous Miss. Blue Eyes said...

Really glad that you are still blogging.


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