FREEDOME OF MIND

2007-05-24T01:35:00.000+04:00

The Long Way Back

When I was a child, I always dreamed of going away, traveling to exotic places, having wondrous adventures. I never knew that when I'm going to get older, all I would want to do is go back to where I was.
Everyday It keeps getting farther away, my home, everyday it keeps getting smaller, even the memories are slowly turning into shadows, some time ago I could even remember what my home smelled like, now all what's left a shadowy picture of a broken window and the dust on my bed. I wouldn't even recognize it in the pictures, I don't know if it’s lucky or unfortunate, but I don’t have any pictures left. Just a hazy shadow of things that were, a sit in the garden, my brother’s kids playing, my mother cocking, my dad’s whistle when he came home from work, and the unforgettable and unmistakable smell of his Cuban cigars.
I have always wondered…. Well… not always but since all this happened, what is left to go back to? Is it right to go back to memories? Only shadowy images collected in my brain? I don’t know what’s right and what’s wrong most of the time.. Hell…. I screwed up so many times with so many people and wasted so many chances that I cant even remember when was the last time I was right or did something right. But I only know this… I want to go home.
Where is home? Some would say there is no home anymore, they all say it’s not like before. But you know… homes never change, countries never change… it’s the people that change. But even the people cant change the country, even the most powerful of people cant change the way you feel about your country, because your country, when you were far far away and get back home, you feel this warmth, this sudden change of temperature that you have never experienced before until this day, this feeling if safety that only your country could give you, like the feeling your mother gives you when she hugs after you cry, I can only dream of this feeling.
Who said that our country has changed? Who changed it? And do these people deserve what has happened to them? do Iraqis deserve what happened to them? No humane being deserves to suffer like that, no man should see this pain. I don’t know about people, I don’t know what they had done, I only know that deep down in their souls, deep down underneath all the exteriors, they, just like me, all want to go home.
Its ironic how I wanted to travel as a kid, most people feel the need to change their place of living when they are teenagers of young adults, but then again, I haven’t been your normal child anyway, father. Your other children were better than me, they all looked better than me anyway. They all got my mom’s green eyes and her extraordinary good looks, I got your eyes dad, you short-sighted eyes, your hair, that curl right above my forehead that no barber can ever mend, I got your calm or lest that what mom says, and I got you love of home.
Sometimes I think I got the best genes, but my mistakes always beg to differ, but I guess every one of us wishes that he or she were someone else, or some place else. We all have our dreams, we all day dream about something, we all make mistakes, but we forget and we move on. We forget how we hurt people or how people hurt us, we forget faces and names, and we even forget our homes. I am beginning to forget mine, and I am afraid that the only thing I will take to my grave, the only memory Satan and I are going to talk about in hell, is the death and destruction and chaos that is happening now. The only thing left is one single memory, one single picture of me staring at the river from my window. This is what scares me, not being able to close my eyes and remember, not being able to exhale and smile, not being able to say “for old time's sake” because this sentence doesn't mean anything anymore. What would you do if you just can’t move on and leave everything behind, what can you do if all you want is to go back to the things and life you left behind? What would anybody do if all what they want is to die and be buried in their country? I am afraid that when I die, they wouldn't bury me back home, I am afraid that they wouldn't plant a tree over my grave and let me be one with its roots. I haven't accomplished anything in my life, I haven’t really made a difference, and I don’t think I will anytime soon, all I want, all I need for my life to mean something is to be buried in my soil, and let me give life to something else. That way I won’t really die, I will always live in that tree.
All the people I know want to get out, all the people now want change, and all the people I know want something different... Out, change, and different didn't really work out for me. I want to try the way we were this time, and I want to go back home.
Sometime I will, sometime. Not yet maybe, and not in the near future but something will change. I am not a politician and would never pass as one, but people need to understand what’s best for them. And what’s good for you can surly work for everybody else.
I am telling you, everybody wants to go home. I want to go home… I want to get in my house, go up to my room, light a cigarette, and watch the river from my window, I want to close my eyes and let my old friend the Tigris sweep all my pain away. It’s a promise old river, it’s a promise.

2007-05-17T12:39:00.000+04:00

THE TRAGEDY OF THE UNWORTHY.

This heart has no love in it no more; this heart has grown old and weary. This heart has no meaning to it no more; this heart has only blood in it. This heart has no purpose except to keep this cadaver alive. This heart closed it eyes for beauty and kindness and now sees only pain and suffering. Or was it that its eyes were closed for it? This heart sees no color anymore, this heart doesn't recognize passion, this heart doesn't do the things it was created to do, except keeping this cadaver alive. These is no love in this heart anymore, it might as well stop pumping blood.
Of all the things that have become, and all the things that are yet to pass, this heart has no sense. This heart lost its existence in the world. What’s the meaning of material existence if you don’t really exist? If you don’t really feel this existence? If you don’t feel the things and people around you? Because this heart lost all feelings, this heart lost its ability to withstand, to survive. It has grown despondent, solitary, like it has been swallowed by a whale.
Four years I have lived inside this whale’s belly, Jonas stayed for 3 days and cried his eyes out, and I have been here for 4 years. I envy him; at least his had a god to help him? Where is my god? Is he hiding in the green zone too? Is he behind stone walls and concrete blocks? Does he have black water bodyguards? Does he only listen to eloquent sophisticated non-Arabic prayers? I can send him a dictionary, I just need the address.
3500 lives is the cost of this war, nobody counts the unworthy, the not-humans. Some say 50.000 some say a million, but nobody is keeping count. Nobody counts this heart. Nobody cares about this heart. My feelings are limited by my limited vocabulary, but my words are from my aching heart. I am earth, I am from earth, and my words are to earth.
But nobody counts this heart, and many many other hearts like it, hearts that have stopped loving and caring, hearts that even stopped doing its main physiological reason of being, hearts that have stopped beating, stopped pumping blood to bodies, bodies turned to cadavers, humans turned into worm food, even worms don’t like the taste of the unworthy. Who can blame them? dogs are being taken care of more than the unworthy, dogs are more cared for than the unworthy, they know how much they spend on dogs, but do they know how many unworthy they have killed?
4 million displaced, and there is no problem, why? Because they are the unworthy. What would they think if 15 million people of their country were displaced? Probably wouldn't care because most of them would be poor, the unworthy again. Hail Katrina.
Hail Caesar. He came, he saw, he conquered the unworthy. Hail Caesar for bringing democracy to the unworthy, they ungrateful. Hail him for ridding the world from the “superfluous”, the “unnecessary”, the unworthy.
This heart makes no sense anymore, it has no sense anymore. It tortures itself for things that happened a long time ago, things that its imagines it going to happen, things it doesn't want to happen but still does. Images of mistakes and misjudgments, images of love and passion, a passion he doest know anymore. It’s like giving a man who suffered amnesia his ID card, it feels familiar but the face and the name doesn't ring any bells. This heart has new friends. Pain and cigarettes are his only best friends, one of them is going to the reason of its demise, and maybe both if it lasted long.
“these young hearts have already become old- and not even old! Only weary” Friedrich Nietzsche.

2007-04-25T13:23:00.000+04:00

I’ll See You in the Morning Light

Every single time I think to myself that they can’t do more damage, they can’t come up with more stupid ideas, but every single time they prove mo wrong.
America doesn't read history well. You see… America already tried the wall idea in Vietnam, they called it strategic hamlets. They forced the peasants to leave their original villages, confine them all in these strategic hamlets, which is protected by barb weirs, mine fields, bamboo fields, watchtowers, and walls. They wouldn't let the people out except during the day to work in the rice fields, thoroughly frisking them on entering and exiting the area in which they are confined, with 24 hours surveillance, even using helicopters to watch them while they work. They shot every person who tried to cross the barb weir fence. They rationed food and supplies to prevent the people from storing any; they gave everybody a name tag with his or her print on it. This started in July 1962, and phase 2 started in the beginning of 1963. the plan was to build more than 16 thousands hamlets, first in the quite zones, then further in the conflict zones, and last in the freed zones.
This plan backfired, because these peasants became more sympathetic with the Vietcong, because they felt no threat from them.
The pretence for building this wall around Adhmiyah, is to protect the Sunni inhabitants from the continuous attacks from neighboring Shiite neighborhoods, and to prevent retaliations from the Sunnis against these attacks.
Guerrilla warfare revolves around a basic idea that a guerrilla fighter is like a fish in the water, meaning that he swims in his community like a fish does in the water. The counter idea is to drain the water from the fish tank, i.e. to isolate the fighter from his community and surroundings buy using multiple combinations of the stick and carrot strategy, starting with trying to appeal to the locals and ends with mass punishment, mass arrests and mass executions.
This was in Vietnam, and the Americans tried it all in Iraq, but nothing worked. And now they are trying the last option which is to physically separate the fighters from the population by means on concrete walls.
The Americans tried this method in Flluga and Tal A’afar, with no successes also. There was no media focus on these previous attempts, but because Adhmiyah is the in the center of Baghdad as well as media focus, a great attention was to this plan.
This is nonsense; they reached a new record of stupidity. Nobody can be that stupid, nobody. Even George bush is not that stupid. I’m beginning to think that they want it that way, that they want civil war and turmoil in Iraq, that they never want to see Iraq stable. Because… come on, who the hell came up with that plan?
Algeria, Belfast, Vietnam, the west bank, and finally Adhmiyah, they haven’t learned anything from history. They haven’t learned that these walls don’t just separate people, they separate hearts, anger, grudges, suffering will grow behind these walls no matter how noble the purpose was, if noble at all.
And hey… while we are on this subject, our so called “elected prime minister” said that he didn't approve on the plane, but they went ahead with it anyway. It’s either that he has no say in these matters (which is, let’s face it, true) or he is lying (which is nothing new).
Either reason is…. Well… how can I put this? Either reason makes him look like a monkey. I’m thinking of sending him some peanuts.
They say they are going to build walls around other districts in Baghdad. I wonder when what they would look like when they finish them. I wonder how Baghdad is going to look like when they finish them. And I wonder how the walls within our hearts would look like when they finish them. The problem is not the concrete wall, the problem is the walls these walls are going to build in the hearts of Iraqis, the problem is the wounds that can not be healed, and the problem is the ills that can not be mended.
This is far more than just a wall. I am not afraid of the stone in the walls, I am afraid of the stones replacing the place where our hearts is meant to be.
“Thou shalt not kill” is obsolete, the 21st century version is “thou shalt do whatever the hell thou want, and let me go to sleep”
The walls prevent the sun light from shinning of god’s children; the walls within our hearts prevent god’s hand from touching us. It is getting dark in this world, it is getting dark in Iraq, it is getting dark in out hearts.
But the sun is bound to rise, the light wick kick the darkness away. The dark has blackened our eyes that we can’t recognize who’s friend and who’s foe, who brother and who’s enemy. But the sun will shine, and I will see you in the morning light.

2007-03-30T19:13:00.000+03:00

The Last Thing

4 years ago, I don’t remember that exact date, but I was around this time, me, my brother and my mother were sitting at home. Listing to the sound of explosions, shaking with everyone of them. I was playing on my PC, I think the game was “Duke Nukem”. My mother and brother were sitting in the other room when they bombed Al-hakimiayh, the building where the Iraqi intelligence used to interrogate people. Our house was 2 blocks from that building, the sound was deafening, I literally flew up in the air, with the PC, for several seconds, then came back to the ground and continued playing like nothing happened. My mother on the other hand, was crying and shouting of fear. We took her to some relatives’ house, and came back home. My brother kept shouting at me and telling me that I’m crazy, emotionless, and his favorite, careless.
Well…. I’d like to think that I’m brave and fearless, but the truth is I am not. Not that I’m a coward, but at that particular moment I felt nothing, absolutely nothing. It all started in the first American led war against Iraqi, or maybe before that when we were children during the Iraq-Iran war. I remember seeing dead bodies of Iranian soldiers on the TV; I used to watch that program everyday.
I though I was immune to that carelessness, apathy, and indifference to other people pain, but lately, as news pf people dying all over the world, especially in my country, piles over piles of bodies, and everyday I feel less and less pain, I am less and less anguished, I am less and less disturbed by those images. I am beginning to be indifferent, and that scares more that anything else in the world. It scares because it takes away from me what makes me humane.
The ability to feel other people’s pain is what made me go on. I am not there, I can’t share your pain physically, I am not in Baghdad, but I can feel what they feel, I can understand, I can relate to them through their pain, I can’t do nothing for them from here, but I least it hurts when someone dies, at least there are some feelings.
The daily sufferings and the daily deaths of hundreds of people just used to make sick. But now…. I’m feeling less and less sick. And I am afraid.
I am afraid of becoming one of those people who just doesn't give a shit what happens, and it scares the living shit out of me. I am afraid that when someone dies I wont feel anything, I am afraid that I have lost my appreciation for life, my respect for death.
I am afraid that one day I would say what the hell, that one day I might even kill someone, not by bullets only but by words. I am afraid, and this scares the living shit out of me.
I am afraid that I’m going to start to put these horrible deaths in some context and not see them for what they really are. to put something into context is to say it can be understood, that it can be explained, that it can be explained away. 200 died today, 300 hundred yesterday, 100 hundred the day before that, etcetera, etcetera. Just to say etcetera is monstrous; it reduces the deaths to mere verbal abbreviations. Is this how I want to understand these crimes? Is this how we want to understand these crimes? Putting them in context? Some people do that, some people do put these crimes in proportion or in context, but my money says they didn't lose any relative or friend in one of these crimes.
They show us pictures, videos, reports, and everything else they could think of, just to make us used to it. At first you feel upset and maybe cry a little, after a while you are just upset, but after a long time (say… 4 years?) the victims cease to be people to you, these dead people are not humane beings who once where alive, they are just dead bodies. And the ones who killed them are not criminals, and the ones who defend and support them are doing it for the right reasons. All it takes is some getting used to, and they can alter our perception on what constitutes a crime, on what a crime really is. Is it a crime that six hundred thousand Iraqis are dead? It’s debatable. But it is a crime that 3000 American soldiers died. American public can not stand the though of caskets flying from Iraq containing their dead sons’ bodies, but they are indifferent about 600,000 Iraqis. They now want to withdraw from Iraq, not because they destroyed the country and failed to establish and form of democracy of freedom, and basically failed to accomplish any of their set goals before the invasion, they want to pull out because 3000 soldiers died.
That kind of humane being I don’t want to be, favoring one humane being over another. Thinking that the lives of some people are more valuable than that of others, and finally not caring how many people die from either side.
I am a humane, and when any humane is lost it’s a personal loss to me. And I want to keep feeling this way, because if I can’t do anything to help, at least I can feel something, at least I can refuse to feel OK about it.
They took my life, my future, my present, my past, my laughs and joys, my tears and sadness, and they came for what matters for me most, my humanity.
I am afraid that I am going to lose the last thing that attaches me to life. I am afraid I am scared that one day I going to say “what the hell?” I am afraid that I won’t be humane anymore.

2007-02-26T14:39:00.000+03:00

Far and Away

When I left Baghdad, 4 years ago, I didn't take anything with me, except a suitcase full of memories. Memories I knew I was going to need. Memories that can feed my soul when its hungry, memories that can make me laugh when I am blue, memories that can make me cry, memories that can give me hope, hope that I will once again, no matter how long it takes, go back to where these memories were planted, take their seeds, and plant new ones.
Memories of early childhood, of which nothing is left, except of a mental picture of me holding a football and a hat over my curly blond hair, memories of the first school, the first friends, memories of the first football game, memories of how innocent I was, of how innocent the world was. Memories of the first steps into teenage hood, new friends, new life, accomplishments in school that did not satisfy my parents so I just gave up, a long hair that wont straighten up, growing up, getting close to the lord, watching people speak in strange tongues after a long period of prayer, dressing as a Muppet to cheer up orphans, growing up again. College, new friends, new life again, memories of a long lost love, that tormented both of us more than it made us happy, lies, deceit, breaking up, letting her go, oh those cherry lips and almond eyes still haunt me, oh what would I give to just get a glimpse at those eyes, just to get that look that says “ I know you, I know all of you”, memories of exams, my buddy walking in his sleep, staying up all night just chatting like there was no tomorrow, going to the exam without studying anything and laughing about it, good friends, true friends, memories of the dreams we had for our future, how settled everything was, memories of how each and every one of us didn't know what he was going to do, but it made no difference because we all got each other, an accident, then a trip, the most amazing trip in the history on mankind, of which I have the pictures to prove, the only pictures I have, courtesy of a true friend. Memories of staying behind, meeting new people, believing that it doesn't matter anymore because the end is near, trying convince people that it's not about the man, its about the country, then ….. The END.
The end of what we once knew, and the start of something that I can not understand no matter how hard I tried. I can not understand how the victim becomes a criminal, the criminal gets rewarded, and how they turned it all into politics. Ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to tell you that our prime minister has never had sex in his life. He said that Sabrin, the women who his militias raped, did not suffer any injuries, scratched, or wounds in the vaginal area. Those of you who had sex would know that sexual intercourse itself, though forced, does not cause wounds in the vaginal area, except if the victim was a virgin, a claim Sabrin never made.
She is a criminal, they say, she is wanted for several crimes. Why did you let her go then? A prostitute? Does being a prostitute justify getting raped? I don't know about you but that is not a good reason for me, unless you don't think of a prostitute as a humane being.
A criminal, a whore, wanted for many charges. The wolves ate the lamb, and the Shepherd brushed their teeth. Shepherd? Give me a feakin break.
They raped the whole country, what's one more woman? One more child? One more innocent? One more innocence? Our innocence?
Raped? You are not alone Sabrin, they raped all of us. They raped us of our future, our present, our past. They raped the memories we left behind. They raped the humane being inside of me, they want me to become a beast, but I can't. I just can't do it. I just can't forget the humane being, I just can't leave all my memories behind, I just can't leave my innocence behind, I just can't forget my curly blond hair, I just can't be a beast. I just can't.
I just want to be humane; I just want to live as a humane. I just want to see others as humans. I can't bear these inhumane crimes, I just can't understand rape, I can't understand killing, I can't understand how someone could defend the rapists and the murders. I don't understand how they didn't even bother looking into it.
Maybe I should lock myself in my room, and open my empty suitcase that is full of memories. Memories of men, memories of men with honor, Memories of a time when honor meant the world to men. Memories of times when we were brothers, I still remember my brothers, I still love my brothers. But they forgot about me.

2007-02-08T12:34:00.000+03:00

I, Iraq

My memory is not that good nowadays, some friends suggested that I go visit a doctor to check my brain out. I don’t know if am going to the see the doctor or not, I still haven’t decided yet, but I would be much surprised if it turned out that I still have a brain at all, I think –and that’s only me, a crazy person talking- that humane beings consumes their brain during their lifetime on George W. Bush's not-so-green-due- to global-warming world. I am not a scientist, but if you have seen what we have seen since we were little children, I think you might understand what I'm talking about, and I wouldn't be a gibber jabber of a crazy man to you.
The first thing that comes to my mind is something happened 16 years ago, any of you remember Al-Amiryah shelter? More than 200 people died, their only fault is they were afraid of American bombs. Funny thing, I was watching a movie, a documentary of some kind, called the secret. The main theme is according to the law of attraction, what you think most happens to you. For example, if you are afraid of meeting bad people and you spend a lot of time thinking about, you are bound, by the law of attraction, to unconsciously attract these people to you. These people is Amriyah shelter were so afraid of shelter missiles and f-16 fighter bombers that they attracted these missiles to their shelter. Or maybe that’s only one way to put, another was is to say that the Americans thought the Iraqi high command were hiding in that shelter, or maybe you can say that they received some faulty inelegance information (surprise, surprise), or another way is to say that the weren't sure if the information were true or not so they bombed the place anyway. A friend of mine said some funny things the other day," one bullet in your head is enough to kill you, the second one is just to make sure".
They talked a lot about mass graves, crimes against humanity he said. I wish you would give that another thought Mr. President. But it not your fault anyway, not because you are stupid and you say only when they tell you to say, well… you are stupid, anyway, that’s not the point, the point is they didn't tell what really happened there. During the chaotic retreat from Kuwait, your fighters and helicopters killed everything with tow legs they could find walking on the ground. People found the bodies and buried them in mass graves. But then again, that's only one way to put it. The other way is to say that I am crazy Baathist, which I don’t mind at all. After all, I am crazy. Are you going to hang George bush senior for this? Crazy, crazy, crazy, just plain insane.
I am not good with faces or with people anyway. I don’t remember faces and names very well. The funny thing is that I remember many people I do not know, or even have see in my whole life. I remember more than 500,000 people, most of the children less than one year old, who died due the embargo. Don’t tell me its Saddam's fault, because my crazy diminished brain can't accept that. It can not accept that after all that, Mrs. Albright says it wasn't worth it. So the death of 500,000 people wasn't, after all, worth it. And all for what? For non-existent WMDs. Maybe that can't be held against them, because the only knew afterwards. You could say that 13 years is a lot of time, and you could say that the Iraqis kept telling you that they didn't have it, but still you can't hold that against America. The moral of this story is "Kill Now, Ask Questions Later".
Or "Kill people now; think why you killed them later. And if, after a long time, this reason didn't work out for you, just think of something else".
I am biased. I admit that. Because I always talk about America, and what America did to us, and how brutal her crimes were. But I never say anything about me, and how stupid I am, how ignorant and retarded I am, and how futile and idiotic my discussions are, how I don’t know how to debate in a civilized way. I never say that, do I?
God damn me and all the people who are like me. Have you watched me on TV? Yeah, don’t be surprised, I was on TV, I am on TV all the time. I was dead serious, but for some reason, people laugh at me all the time.
I am a member of the Iraqi parliament, and I am the head of it too. I can't agree on laws that matter to my people, but I can agree on laws that matter to me, like my salary and benefits. Sometimes, I say that terrorism comes from Syria. Some other times I say terrorism comes from Iran. Actually it depends on who I am at the particular moment. I leave the parliament on the when they don’t give my money, but I stay when people die every other day. Sometimes I need people to tell not to kill my brothers. What kind of crap is that anyway? Fatwas or religious orders from holy men to tell me that I cant kill my brother, and I if I did, I would go to hell. I don’t even have the common sense to realize that killing anybody is wrong, let alone killing my brother. The only thing that matters to me, the only things that is most important to me is ME, and only ME. When I go to my shaman to ask him about things that matter to me, it turns out that things that matter to me most is Anal sex and marrying more than one women to satisfy me. I debate with my peers over the validity of some kind of marriage that allows me to take as many women as I please without any obligations or consequences. And you say I don’t know how to Debate, HUH, in your face. I rage, demolish, destroy, kill, insult, boycott, threat, and demand explanations over some insulting cartoons, but I do nothing when they are destroying one of my holiest sights. I guess it is no longer my holiest sight; I have replaced it with my penis. I degrade and demean my women; I cover them with cloth from head to toe lest anybody sees them and realize what I had done to them. I kill them if the go against my will, I kill them If I even suspected that they went against my will. I am the Supreme Being; I am gods shadow on earth. My word is that last word, and no other word shall be said after mine. I twist religion to my benefit, when it's OK for me, I fight. When it isn't I don’t. And who says when its OK and when it isn't? Who the hell do you think? Me!!!
I can't get along with my brother when it comes to my country; it's my country, not his. But I can get along with him fine, when it comes to a football (or soccer) match. We laugh together if we win, we cry together if we lose. But when the math ends, when the referee blows his whistle, him and I go back to killing each other.
I need people to teach me everything I know, or every thing I should know, I can't just go and learn it my self. I am too tired to do it. The only thing I could of is what's for lunch today and which one my wives is going to satisfy me tonight.
I call other people monkeys and pigs, just because they don’t believe in what I believe, for I will prevail. I waged wars, I conquer lands, states, continents, but when other people do it, I call them invaders. But my god said I could, their god just doesn't matter.
When I learned democracy, my greatest achievement was a lynching. Yes, I finally learned democracy and humane rights, I finally learned how all people are equal under the law, and my first implication was a lynching. I finally formed a government; I finally elected my representatives, I am finally free from tyranny. And the first thing I do is an act of tyranny and revenge. I am so obsessed with revenge; it is the only thing I know how to do. I don’t know to build, I don’t know how to teach, I don’t know how to serve my kinsmen, I don’t know how to let go, I don’t how read, I don’t know how to do anything, I only know that I should get even with anybody, even with myself.
I kill myself and ask people why are they killing me, I see the wrong in them, but I don’t see the wrong in me. I am a hypocrite.
I.... I... I... I don’t who "I" is. This person is a stranger to me; my own mother doesn't recognize me anymore. My own mother doesn't know me anymore. I am killing my mother, my brother is killing my mother, the stranger is killing my mother, I am killing the stranger, I am killing my brother, my brother is killing me.
Silly me, stupid me, please forgive me.
I apologize if I offended anyone. I have a good excuse anyway, I am losing my mind, remember? I have lost most of my brain, and the rest is just trying to control my bodily functions. I have lost my mind; seriously, I think I am a country. I am torn, hurt, killed, raped, wounded, bleeding, empty, and lost country. This is the craziest thing i have ever said to the day. I am Iraq. I, Iraq.

2007-02-02T15:10:00.000+03:00

Najjaf: The Rules Of Engagment

You see … what I don’t really understand… I mean if someone wants to lie, like if one of your parents catches you with a dirty mag, you better come up with something original to cover your butt, the " it's not mine, I'm holding it for a friend" excuse is really obsolete, nobody believes it anymore.
So what I don’t really understand is why America doesn’t hire someone from Hollywood to write stories for the news. Have any of you listened to what they all say about what happened in Najjaf? The Iraqi government spokesperson said they were Shiite but not Shiite, they were highly trained, they had heavy arms and ammunition, the troops found Afghanis with them, they have pictures of the leader with Osama Bin Laden, and the baathists had a hand in all this. What a load of CRAP.
I don’t really understand why when someone lies, especially the Iraqi government, they do it so bad that anybody, I mean anybody, even an imbecile can figure it out.
Now Al-Qaeda id working with the Shiite? And Osama Bin Laden dined and wined with the leader of a Shiite leader? What about what they were filling our heads with all those years about how sunny Muslims hate Shiites, and about all the bombings and cars and mortars and terrorist attacks are the doings of Al-Qaeda against Shiite Iraqis? Highly trained my foot, they didn’t last a day for god's sake. By the way, someone might argue that they stood up against the Iraqi forces, and forced to call for supports from the Americans, but that, in opinion, doesn’t mean that these people were highly trained, it simply means that the Iraqi army is a bunch of cowards, or under-trained and under equipped to say the least.
Seriously people, heavy arms!!! They said that Al-Qaeda people smuggled heavy arms to Najjaf, how in god's name did they do that? Can someone explain?
It’s a heavy load of crap, and they want to feed us this crap, but you know what, I am not eating this. I am not buying your shit anymore.
Remember David Koresh? The ATF and FBI burned the whole church to the ground and said his followers did it, sharpshooters hunted everyone who tried to flee that inferno, even 12-year old children.
Fret not my fellow Iraqis, we not have our own David Koresh. All we have to do now is wait for the documentary "Najjaf: The Rules of Engagement" to see what really went on.

2006-12-19T15:15:00.000+03:00

LOST

I was talking to some friends the other day on the Yahoo messenger, friends I haven’t talked to for a long time; I mean really talk to… I found out something that I did not know was there, my friends have changed, not in a bad way though. They have grown up, most of them are married, many of them have at least one child, they talk about many things that I don’t share with them. That's what struck me; I haven't aged one day passed April 9th 2003. I still tell the same jokes, the same puns, the same memories still linger in my mind. They all have new memories, ones I know nothing about. It's like I am everybody's friend, but I am nobody's best friend. Maybe I wasn’t someone's best friend anyway, but at least I didn’t feel it.
They have all grown passed me, they all adjusted to life as it is, while I'm still crying over a long forgotten past for many people, looking at the pictures of glorious days and crazy nights, trying to find in my heart the remnants of a lost love, fighting to keep the picture of that love alive in my mind, daydreaming of things I don’t have no more, and things that I won't have ever. I am living an alternate life, I am living every life but my real life. I lie to myself to get through the day, thinking that sleep will swallow my nights, trying, without any luck so far, to forget the nightmares.
Oh the nightmares…..
They have all gown up and left me alone, unable to communicate with anybody like I used to do, unable to feel the overflowing emotions of true friendship. They have these emotions still, they show these emotions still, they say whatever they can to demonstrate it, but I just can't feel it anymore, because they have changed, and I am still the same. They have grown up, and I didn't.
Everything has changed around me, not in a good way this time, from bad to worse…. Here…. There…. All the same.
I know people get depressed during the holidays, but what about people who are depressed all the time? Including the holidays? I don’t know where I am anymore, I see the street I'm walking on, I know the streets. But I am not here, they streets reshape to look like the streets I once knew, the buildings disappear, and other buildings appear in their stead, buildings I once knew. I know these streets are not the same, I know these buildings have changed, but I am still the same, and I still see the same.
I lost my train of thoughts; I don’t know what I should say anymore. Perhaps I should say nothing more.
Merry Christmas everyone, and happy new year.

2006-11-27T14:02:00.000+03:00

Amongst the dead

What does the dead do? When somebody dies… where does he or she go? When 200 people die at the same time, what do they do? Their bodies lying on the ground, most of them torn, their brains shattered on the sidewalk, a hand there, and arm here, a leg just around the corner. Is that mine? Is that yours? Do they really die? And what does the living do? What do they do when they see the dead? Do they see the dead? They see bodies and body parts, but do they really see the dead?
Because the dead don’t just go, they don't just disappear after they put their bodies 6 feet under, they linger… they are invisible, very few people can see them. Let me elaborate a little. People… walking around in the marketplace, boooooooooom, dead… dead…. Also dead. But are they really dead? They are still here, invisible, unseen… they don't talk, they don't ask questions, they don't wonder where they are or why there are here, because it makes no difference for the dead. They why and what and who is no longer a matter, for what purpose seems a very ridiculous question, to what end is not a matter of interest anymore, because…. This is the end.
These questions only torture the living, not the dead. They linger, they stay, they cease to exist in our world, they exist in a world of there own.
They linger… they wait, they don’t go to a bright place, they don’t the light, they just wait, they walk, just walk. They wait for the other dead… they wait to take their brothers with them, their burned brothers. One boom here, another burned there, it doesn’t matter to them, they are just company. It doesn’t matter for the dead how or why you died, it only matters that you died, you are just new company. They welcome you with empty eyes, and a faint smile. There in no torture, no pain, no agony, no wait, nothing left, all is gone, there is no start, there is no gain, there is no loss, there is nothing, just the wait.
But does the living care? Do they weep? Do they shout in pain? Do they mourn? No…. they kill. They unconsciously know that the dead need company, so they give them company.
They don’t care; they don’t give a fuck. They live for the kill, until they are dead, until it doesn’t matter anymore.
Where do you live? Amongst the living? Amongst the dead? What questions do you ask yourself when go to sleep? What do you think you are when you close your eyes? Can you close your eyes? Can you not dream on the dead? Do you know they are standing right beside you? Do you know that they can see through you? They can see you dreams, they can see what you really think, they can see who you really are even if you don’t know who you really are.
Where are you? Where am I? Am I dead? Am I living? I don’t feel like living, and I can't see the dead. Is there something wrong with my eyes? Is there something wrong with your eyes? Is there something wrong with your ears? Can't you see? Can't you hear? Can't you feel? How can you go on living with all those dead around you? How can you feel joy with all this pain around you? I can't. How much is enough? More then 200 a day is enough for the prime minister to get upset. How much is enough for him to get angry? How much more does he need to actually do something? How much you all need to actually do something? To actually feel something?
I wish I could die and join my brothers, I wish I could die so I can go to those who talk over and over about democracy and humane rights and see what they really are. I wish I could die and see this drunk crazy man, whom you call the leader of the free world, for what he really is.
I wish I could die and go see my father for one last time, I wish I could die and go see my house for one last time, I wish I could die and go see my friends for one last time, I wish I could die and go see Baghdad, my beautiful Baghdad, as it was for one last time, I wish I could die so these tears blurring my vision could go away.
I wish I could be amongst the dead, I wish I could see the dead. That more do you want from me?
It's a comfort to the wretched to have had companions in misery

2006-11-23T11:49:00.000+03:00

ANSWERS TO LUKE

my friend Luke, of the olive branch network, asked the Iraqi bloggers some questions. He wanted to know their opinion on different issues regarding the future of Iraq.
I gladly participated in the answering of these questions, some of my Iraqi bloggers freidns did too.
well... Here is the questions:
If you had a chance to direct the Iraqi government, what would be the first 5 steps you would take to begin bringing Iraq towards a better, unified future?

If you had a chance to control US policy in Iraq, including troop levels, what are the first steps you would take towards helping the Iraqi government obtain legitimacy and begin working towards a better, unified future?

IDEALLY, what model of government would you LIKE the Iraqi government to become? (Secular Democracy, Islamic Theocracy, Federalist, Republican)...

WHO do you see as the main obstacles in reaching this ideal model of governance?

What POLICIES do you see as obstacles in reaching this ideal model of governance?

What are the main non-Security related industries you believe need to be repaired // "reconstructed" most urgently?

What are the most urgent non-Security related industries that CAN be repaired // reconstructed using IRAQI LABOR?

Finally, What are some non-Security related suggestions as to how to combat the dangerous level of unemployment experienced across Iraq?
**************
And here is your answers my friend:

1- The first step would be to ban all religious and sectarian parties, the second step would be getting rid of all who came with the occupation, and put them to trial for treason, this step would include following anyone who fled the country and confiscating all their assets. All the terrorists are included in this too, with the exception of the national patriotic resistance. The third step would be forming a national patriotic government and putting Iraqi nationalists into office, the choosing of which would only be based on merit regardless of sectarian, ethnic, or religious belonging. The fourth step would be to restore all Iraqis to their original jobs and annulment on any laws that incriminate thoughts, beliefs, or principles. No individual should be incriminated without hard evidence and beyond any reasonable doubt. The fifth step would national reconciliation, letting go of all the mistakes of the past, starting over and putting whatever happened before behind our backs. The last step in the most important and crucial step in building the Iraqi future. Revenge will get us nowhere to say the least, in fact revenge is one of the reason we are where we are today.

2- I would have to be an American to answer that question. I am an Iraqi, and all that I care about is the interests of my country, this may be contradictory to United States interests. AnywayÂ after the formation of a national government and restoring the army, they should begin and immediate pull out.

3- A secular republic with a strong center is the ideal form of government for the time being. This type of government should be transitional for a period of 4-5 years, during this period the Iraqi people should educated about democracy and free election and speech. Then election should be held to let the people decide what type of government they want.

4- the mail obstacle is the total ignorance to the true meaning of democracy, and existence of sectarian and religious parties, each of which claim to represent the will of god on earth, which is obviously not true. The will to serve is also non-existent, everybody in only willing to serve their own interests rather than the countries.

5-religious and sectarian division, the though that some part of the Iraqi people should assume power just because they represent the majority of the population is ridiculous. Power and office should be given to those of merit. The fact that the persons in question are shiaa, Sunni, Arab, Kurd, Muslim, or Christians is irrelevant.

6-the basic services (water, electricityÂetc.) should be restored immediately, as should the oil industry, which should be monitored closely to prevent and possibility of manipulation and theft.

7-all the above mentioned can be restored by Iraqi hand, we did once in 1990 and we can absolutely do it again.

8-i donÂt know exactly how to answer this question, but I think with the security situation getting better, and the formation of a free foreign investment program, which is carefully designed to benefit the Iraqi people first and foremost, the economy would get better and more jobs would be available. Putting in mind that the oil industry should be excluded from this program.

2006-11-21T10:27:00.000+03:00

The Others

How can you explain what's happening and what has happened in Iraq to someone who has no a single idea about it? This is very funny and very sad at the same time. I didn't write this, I got it by email and I wanted to share it with you people. It makes sense and it doesn’t make sense at the same time.
I would love it if would read this and tell me again… why the hell did you come here?
Enjoy
All the credit goes to the original auther.*

Imagine for a moment that you had to explain our current war in Iraq to someone from another planet.
Alien: Why did you go to war with this country called Iraq?
Us: Well, we went to war with Iraq because our country was brutally attacked a few years ago and almost 3,000 people were killed.
Alien: Oh, so Iraq was the country that attacked you?
Us: No, Iraq didn't attack us. We were attacked by a terrorist group of Islamic extremists.
Alien: So apparently these terrorists must have come from Iraq or had been trained in Iraq before they attacked you?
Us: No, none of them came from Iraq. Most of them came from a country called Saudi Arabia.
Alien: Did you go to war with Saudi Arabia?
Us: Of course not. They sell us oil so they're one of our closest friends in that part of the world.
Alien: Well then Iraq must have given aid and comfort to these terrorists and supported their cause and that's why you went to war with them.
Us: No, the dictator of Iraq killed or threw out most of the Islamic extremists because he considered them a threat to his regime.
Alien: But Iraq must have had some involvement with the attack on your country?
Us: No. After we went to war, our president admitted that Iraq had no involvement whatsoever in the attack on our country.
Alien: Tell me, was this attack on your country a sudden surprise attack or did you know this terrorist group was targeting you?
Us: Oh, it was a sneak attack, a complete surprise. Except for the briefing the president received a month before the attack that said the terrorist group, al Qaeda, was determined to attack America and it mentioned New York City, the World Trade Center and Washington DC as likely targets. The CIA director said the system was "blinking red" with warnings about impending terrorist attacks.
Alien: So your president no doubt sprang into action to protect the country from this looming terrorist threat?
Us: Well, um, he immediately took a month-long vacation playing golf, fly fishing, and clearing brush on his ranch in Texas.
Alien: So your president was told of the impending attack but his only response was to take a long vacation 1500 miles from where he was told the attack was probably going to happen? What did he do when the attack actually occurred?
Us: He was reading with a group of school children in Florida when one of his aids told him the country was under attack.
Alien: And then he immediately sprang into action to defend the country from the attackers, right?
Us: Not exactly. After he was told the country was under attack, he sat there reading a children's book for several more minutes with the school children while the attacks were still under way.
Alien: So your leaders were slow to respond to the attacks on your country and then they chose to go to war with a country that didn't attack you?
Us: Well yes but there's more to it than that. We know the names of the leaders of the terrorist group that attacked us and we have killed or captured some of them in another country called Afghanistan. Their leaders are still hiding in Afghanistan. Our war in Iraq is part of a larger war on terrorism.
Alien: OK, that makes a little more sense. So you've put most of your resources into catching these known terrorists in Afghanistan and you chased them into Iraq?
Us: Well not exactly. We actually have a very small number of forces hunting for the terrorists in Afghanistan compared to the number of troops we have in Iraq. In fact, we withheld troops and resources from the war in Afghanistan in order to go to war in Iraq.
Alien: So you put minimal effort into going to war with the actual terrorists who attacked you and used most of your military forces to overthrow the government of Iraq which had no involvement in the attack?
Us: That's about right.
Alien: Just out of curiosity, is there anything else significant about Iraq?
Us: Well Iraq is the second largest source of crude oil in the world, which is pretty much the main source of energy that runs our planet. Oh, and the dictator of Iraq once tried to have our current President's father killed.
Alien: Are those the reasons you went to war?
Us: Of course not. We launched this pre-emptive war because we had evidence that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and the dictator of Iraq, Saddam Hussein, could some day use those weapons against us.
Alien: Now I understand. So after you overthrew the Iraqi government you found and destroyed their weapons of mass destruction?
Us: Well, OK, you see it turns out they didn't actually have any weapons of mass destruction and they didn't really pose any threat to us.
Alien: So you mistakenly went to war based on incorrect evidence. But your leaders obviously believed Iraq was a threat though, right?
Us: Yes, of course. Although we now know that our leaders had been told by intelligence experts before the war began that much of the evidence they presented to justify the war was false.
Alien: And just how many people have died in this war with Iraq?
Us: Sadly, the number of Americans who've died is over 2800 and growing every day. That's not counting the thousands who've been maimed or wounded. Oh, and somewhere between 100 and 150 thousand Iraqis have died too. Give or take a few thousand. We don't officially keep track of the number of Iraqi civilians who died in this war.
Alien: But, on the bright side, at least now you know that there are no terrorists in Iraq.
Us: Yeah, well that's the funny part. It seems there were no organized terrorist groups in Iraq before the war but now huge numbers of terrorists have gone to Iraq to fight against us and many Iraqis have joined the insurgency against us.
Alien: This war must have at least reduced the threat of terrorism throughout the rest of your planet?
Us: Well, uh, no. Even if you don't count the terrorist attacks in Iraq, the rate of terrorist attacks worldwide has actually increased significantly since the war in Iraq began.
Alien: So virtually none of the reasons you went to war were true?
Us: Not necessarily. Our president now says we went to war to remove a brutal dictator and to bring democracy and stability to Iraq.
Alien: So does your country often go to war to remove dictators?
Us: No. In fact there are many brutal dictators in that part of the world but most of them are our friends or they sell us oil so we leave them alone.
Alien: But at least Iraq is now a stable democracy.
Us: Um, not quite. Our government is now lowering expectations about any hope for democracy in Iraq. The Iraqi constitution is leaning toward becoming an Islamic theocracy. We're told that women will have fewer rights in the new Iraq than they did under Saddam Hussein. Plus, there are dozens of violent attacks and bombings every day and our Secretary of Defense recently said it may be ten or twelve years before there is any kind of stability in Iraq.
Alien: So let me see if I understand everything you've told me. You went to war with Iraq because you were attacked by people who didn't come from Iraq, weren't trained in Iraq and weren't supported by the government of Iraq, yet you've devoted relatively few resources to pursue the still-at-large leaders of the group that did attack you. You also went to war to eliminate weapons of mass destruction which didn't exist and to depose a dictator who posed no threat to you while you ignored the crimes of other equally brutal dictators. Your war was intended to fight terrorism but has dramatically increased the occurrence of terrorism worldwide. You wanted to bring stability and democracy to Iraq but the country is more violent and unstable now than ever before and any kind of true stability may be a dozen years away. Meanwhile the emerging government of Iraq is nothing close to a true democracy and may become an Islamic theocracy. I can't help but wonder, have your leaders learned anything from this war?
Us: Our president believes this war is a smashing success and says it's a model to spread democracy and freedom throughout the world.
Alien: Just out of curiosity, does your species plan to travel to other planets some day?
Us: Certainly. We love to explore outer space and we want to travel to other stars and planets in the coming decades.
Alien: Thanks for talking to me. I need to return to my planet to discuss this concept you explained to me of "pre-emptive war" against people who may someday pose a threat to you. Good bye.

2006-11-08T14:01:00.000+03:00

NOT HAPPY

For the sake of all that things that is holly, give me a freakin break. I promised myself I would never write about this, but I was outraged by the all the people who said this was justice. Because it is not, this is not justice. This is was not a happy moment for me, it was a shameful moment. Don’t get me wrong, I only want justice to be done, this, sadly, was not justice, it was revenge. And revenge, my dear friends, will lead us nowhere. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.
I would have rejoiced, I would have been happy if this trial was fair. But we just can not move on, we just can not wake up, we just can not realize that it had been three years, we just can not start over. What the hell am I talking about? I'm really stupid, we are still fighting over something happened more than 1400 years ago, how in the name of god are we going to forget something that happened 3 years ago?
We just can not move on, that is it. Take it from me. it is we who do not want a bright future, it is we who do not want to progress, it is we who do not want change, it is our fault. You don’t believe me, do you? Well …. I have proof.
This trial is my proof. People came from all over the world, Iraqis and non-Iraqis, advocating change, a new liberal, democratic, free Iraq under no rule but the rule of law. But we failed at the first test. Even though we feel the same about this, we can't agree. Isn’t this a shame or what?
Justice means everybody should receive a fair trial, regardless of who they are or what they had done. If you think that this trial was fair, then you are blind, deaf, and just plain stupid. If you think that this trial was for the 148 who were executed in Dujail, then you must be stupid, because it is not. If you think we should rejoice because they are going to hang the tyrant, then you are mistaken, because we are doing it for the wrong reasons.
I'm sorry, I really am, but I just can not be happy about it. I wanted justice, but all I got was revenge. And you know what… revenge is a bad thing. We don’t need revenge.
Let me tell you a funny thing, the day before the verdict, the PM appeared on TV, suggesting that Iraqis should not "rejoice much". In a really democratic country, this would be basis for mistrial. Right? We have made our killer a martyr in the eyes of many. They say it's for the people, who he murdered, but we have done those people a great wrong, we did not give the murderer the justice he deserved, the justice he denied all his victims. How are we better than him? How are we not the same with him? We are doing the same things, only on larger scale. They say he hated Shia and Kurds, now everybody hates everybody else. They say he killed Shia and Kurds, now everybody is killing everybody else. They say, during his 35 years, he took billions; now billions are being taken daily. They said he appointed people without any experience or education, have you looked at the Iraqi ministries lately? I'm defending him, but… please…. Show me how are we better than him? I'm not just talking about the government; I'm talking about people, Iraqis. To every Iraqi who is happy about this verdict, I ask this… how are you better than Saddam? How is Hakim, Maliki, Jafari, Dulaimi better than Saddam? How is bush better than Saddam?
Again, I am not happy, I am shamed. This verdict means we are still not ready to move on. This verdict means we don’t agree on things we agree upon. I am sorry, but I am not happy.

2006-10-13T14:36:00.000+03:00

WE DIE

I really need to be depressed to write something. Fortunately, this happens frequently. I feel sad and depressed. I lost my loved ones.
Sorry to tell you that, but I did. I lost my father, my mother, my brother, and my sister, and finally I died. I died 660,000 times.
Americans ask "why do you hate us?" well…. I have 660,000 reasons to hate you. But I'm not like you, I'm better, I am not going to go on a killing frenzy, and kill every American I see, I won't come to America and destroy it, I won't butcher your children, or rape your girls. I just won't.
660,000 people died in Iraq, and do you care? Nooooooooooooooooooo, you don’t.
You would have cared more if they were cattle or sheep; you would have cared more if they were chicken infected with bird flu. For god's sake, you care more about your dogs than about humane beings. But wait a minute, this is wrong, I'm terribly sorry, who said you even consider them to be humane beings anyway? They served their purpose, they died.
Every person in this world has a purpose serve. People are born, they grow up, they go to school, they get married, they have kids, they work, they produce, you know the drill. But us, on the other hand, our only purpose is to die. We get married, we have kids, but we might just as well send to their graves immediately, because they are going to die anyway. You get married and reproduce children, we reproduce corpses. Corpses which only purpose is die and be buried. That’s what we do, WE DIE.
660,000 died. But he doesn’t believe in that number, they grave digger doesn’t believe that he killed and buried 660,000 people. And does he give a number? No, he doesn’t. he just says its not 660,000. OK, I'll go with that, lets say its half, 330,000. is that enough? No? OK, let's say its 100,000. OK now? No? Let's just say its 50,000. Is this fair? Who gives a rat's ass what the number is you dumb maniac? Whatever the number is, its people. It describes how many people who had been killed. Concentrate, people not cattle. People not dogs. People for god's sake.
But again, I'm sorry, you should forgive me, sometimes I get emotional and forget what you think. They are not people, never have been. They served their purpose on earth, they died. That’s what we do, WE DIE.
Come again? What was that? Liberation? Yes, yes… I forgot about that. Sorry? Tyranny? Well, sure. Terrorism? Of course, how can I forget that, you keep saying this every god-damn day. Every time any of you say these things, I want to puke. You can't be that dumb. The American people can't be that dumb, no way. You just can't be that dumb, it doesn’t make any sense. If the American people are that dumb, how can they be leading the whole world in democracy and humane rights? But maybe you are not as democratic and not humane-rights defending as you might think. You care more about yourselves than other people, than the whole world. You are ready to murder, destroy, rape, annihilate, exterminate, abolish, erase, and do whatever you deem "necessary" to protect your "civilization", "freedom", and "way of life". The very same things you deny other people, you deny them create their own civilization or acknowledge any they have before, you deny them the right that every humane being is born free, and you deny them to live their own way of life. All that is not American is inferior; all who is not American is not humane. George Orwell should have put that is his book along with war is peace, ignorance is strength, and freedom is slavery. You make other people war to make your own peace, you keep other people ignorant to gain strength, and you enslave other people to ensure your freedom.
What? I don’t know what is wrong with me today, I keep forgetting. Yes, yes. These things are not people. And what am I so pissed off about? They served their purpose, they died. Because that’s what we do. WE DIE.
But you didn’t just kill my body 660,000 times; you killed my dreams, my hopes, and my future. You killed the humane being I thought I was, the one I always longed to be. I'm thinking of all the children who have died, I'm thinking of all the mothers and father who have died and left their children, I'm thinking of the brothers and sisters who have died and left their mother and fathers and siblings. I'm thinking of their hopers, dreams, and future. I'm thinking what would have happened if they hadn’t died, If you hadn’t killed them. I'm thinking of them and I feel like I have died 660,000 times. I'm a walking corpse with 660,000 wounds on my dead body. A dead man walking to nowhere, no hopes, no dreams, and definitely no future. What future is there for a dead man? You don’t just kill people; you kill people's hopes, dreams, and future. You don’t just kill a child; you kill the humane being inside his family. You don’t just rape a girl; you rape the life of the humane being inside her family, turning them into beasts.
Oh shit. Did do it again? Maybe I should take a pill or something. There is something wrong with. What's that you say sir? Yeah, yeah. I don’t know what am I pissed off about? Why am I talking like this? I don’t have a clue, I must be nuts. They did the only thing they were supposed to do; they came here to earth to do one thing, and one thing only, and they did it. Almost flawlessly, the have only one purpose, and they served that sacred purpose, they died. Because that’s what we do, WE DIE.

2006-09-18T14:16:00.000+04:00

CATCHING UP

There is something extremely wrong with us, you know what that is? We don’t understand people. We think that other people think like we do, we think that they do the same things we do, we think that the see things the way we do, we think that they believe in the same things we do; therefore, we can not communicate.
I read what the pope said, and I think that I understood what he meant. He was quoting from a book; he didn’t mean to undermine Islam. He was simply addressing the matter of how we can reason faith, and whether reason, as we know, is enough to understand the work of god or how god works and thinks.
I'm a little into philosophy, and I can understand that. What I can't understand is why are you so pissed off over some comments from the pope which you considered insulting to Islam, to the level of burning churches and killing innocent nuns, why are you so pissed off at that and you are cool with islamofascism? You didn’t burn American embassies, you didn’t call your ambassadors home, you didn’t go to mosques and shout death to America, or America is part of your fantastical crusade.
The only crusade, of there is one, is being led by Muslims, not Christians.
Muslims are the ones who hurt Islam the most, not Christians. I'm not defending the pope, because he really has control what he says, and I'm not saying what I'm saying because I'm Christian, because that has nothing to do with it. We hit a new low everyday, we choose our battles, but we choose poorly. We are emotional people, which is a good thing because it means that we have good hearts, but we direct our emotions towards the direction. Instead on focusing on the real problems, we busy ourselves with trivial matters and leave the big picture.
We hate the pope for saying that, we burn churches, we kill nuns, we threaten to raze the Vatican, we do all that, which makes us look bad, while instead we could do one simple good thing which will make us look very good and civilized, we could reason.
Yes, reason. If you thought the pope offended you, and said things that not true, do you think that burning churches and killing nuns is gonna help your cause? Do you thinks that protests with slogans like the pope is part of a crusade against Muslims and Islam is gonna help make the world understand that what he said was not true? We do not know how to reason. Actually we knew how to reason, we knew how to talk sense, we knew how to teach others and convince them with whatever we wanted to say, but it seems that we have forgotten how to do that.
The same thing happened with that cartoons deal, we forgot that Muslims are being persecuted in their Muslim countries, by Muslim hands, and when they seek refugee in other countries, non-Muslim countries, they are welcomed. Does that make sense to you? Cause it doesn’t to me.
This is a very sensitive matters for Muslims, but it appears to me that you are ok with Muslims being killed by Muslims, islam being ridiculed by Muslims, the whole world telling you what to do while you are idle, people moving on and leaving you 300 hundred years behind, you are ok with all that, but you are not ok with some stupid cartoons or some silly quote.
No wonder we are still stuck in the 12th century, still dreaming about a long lost glory while the rest of the world is in the 21st century and making a whole brand you glory for itself overlooking those who are left behind.

2006-09-08T14:52:00.000+04:00

Feels like home

Unknown number of people, locked away in an undisclosed location or locations around the world, for unlimited time, without charge, without fair trail or any trail, under unknown circumstances, meaning they may have been tortured or humiliated, this sounds like something the KGB would do, or maybe Saddam, but no. this is the president of the country which claims to be the leader of the free world, and for you who don’t know what I'm talking about, this the United States of America.
Thank for very much Mr. Bush, and in your face for you all who said that I lacked "Moral Equivalence", I hope you are reading this, and I hope, with all my heart, that you say something to me about it. There is in America now, a president who is an outlaw, and he is not as cool as Jessie James, or as smart as the Luther, he is stupid, ignorant, arrogant, and crazy.
But don’t think that he is doing this out of the goodness of his heart, or because he came around, or because he wants to accept the rule of the Supreme Court (which ruled earlier that these prisons and Guantanamo prison violate both the American constitution and the Geneva Convention. Add to that, it ruled that the special tribunals that government wants to hold for the detainees in those prisons are illegal and unconstitutional). No sir, this is game he is playing…. Wait a minute…. He is not that smart to do this, this is what his advisors told him to say to try to corner the democrats, to put them on defense for upcoming elections.
So he is just toying with the people, so democratic of him, and so clever of you, all of you who gave this man a second term.
Is that the democracy you came thousands of miles and spend billions of dollars and lost more than 2000 men and women to teach us? Ok, I understand the concept of democracy and the rule of law now, or at least the American version. You say it but you don’t do it, you tell other people to do it, and make them believe that you do it too. Just make sure to have lots of nuclear bombs and a strong economy, and then do whatever you want, and screw everybody else. Kindda like live and let die. Cool, isn’t it?
Now someone might argue that there people do not deserve to be treated like humans, because of all the horrible things they have done. But wait second!!! What about the people who killed more than 100,000 Iraqis, what about the people who for 13 years had nothing to do but to kill little babies? Which wasn't enough for them by the way, but the came all the way across the oceans to kill the rest and destroy what little left to destroy.
What is wrong with you people? It is you who lack moral equivalence, hell you don’t have any morals at al. when you murder, destroy, torture, lie, cheat, violate humane rights, it is always for the good. But when others do it they are evil. Does that seem moral to you?
Secret prisons, unlawful detention, detention without charge, illegal wire tapping, ignoring the Supreme Court, lying to the public……… this really feels like home.

*this is the link you want jae http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=AVN20060821&articleId=3021

2006-08-23T15:23:00.000+04:00

REASON

I speak no reason, for I have lost all reason. I feel no joy, for I have lost all reason to feel anything. How long you will keep lying to us about democracy, humane rights, justice, and terrorism? Who are the really terrorists really? Have you looked deep down yourselves and lately and asked yourselves that question? Why do you pass judgments on people without thinking or considering? Why don’t you try to understand? Isn’t that just the same thing that you are fighting for? Isn’t it the same reason for your ugly occupation of my country? To make people equal? To free them from the tyranny?
What reason is left? why speak reason when everything around you defies that reason? I want to understand how this works, because this is driving me insane. To be "sane" again I have to understand, to be normal again I have to understand, to regain all hope and strength to go on living I have to understand, I have to understand that logic controls this world, or what world is this anyway?
Why when THEY kill innocents they are defending themselves while when WE kill innocents we are terrorists? Why is the only diplomacy Americans know is sending laser guided missiles to THEM? Is this how it is, US Vs THEM? I hate these terms. I hate US, and I hate THEM. Not that I hate the people who are US or THEM, I hate the words themselves.
Why can people accept a president who, according to the Supreme Court, broke the law? Not just that but also he is a complete idiot. Hell…. My cat is smarter than Bush. I can teach dolphins to speak better than him, but then again, this is unfair to dolphins. Because, after all, dolphins are SMART. America, regrettably, is a nation ruled by idiots and fanatics, not to mention, that according to international laws, war criminals.
Israel won, he says. That’s funny, because they say that they lost, which should we believe? The player of the referee?
Yesterday, a reporter asked bush how he can explain the deaths of more than 1000 innocent people in Lebanon. Why Israel did all that unnecessary killing? He answered" lets not forget how all this started"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Seriously, how is if we didn’t forget who started it going to help us understand why 1000 people were killed and a country destroyed? Does it really matter? It's like when kids fight, when the mother comes everybody says that the other started it. Usually, they all get punished, but in this case, mom's favorite son can do smash the whole house. Not only mom wouldn’t punish this kid, but she may give him some candy.
I don’t support Hezbollah, these people are just pawns, Iran is the master on the board. But that doesn’t make Israel innocent. In my opinion, Israel is now becoming the thing they hate most, Nazis.
I read an article by an Israelis writer, Uri Avnery, he said" when a football team is able to choose the referee, it is not surprise if it is declared to winner"
Peace.

2006-08-14T17:13:00.000+04:00

No more "why do they hate us?" no more whining and crying about 9/11, no more crap about "Global Terrorism", now you can go and stick it up your asses, literally. Just write whatever you want on a piece of paper, or papers, roll it, and stick it up your ass, cause I will not, I repeat, I will not be lied to again.
So… and believe you me, what I am about to say is very, very interesting. The murder of 34 children in Qana is not a war crime, but the killing of 12 Israeli soldiers is, according to an Israeli army spokesman. He says that the children were not the target, the Israelis meant to kill Hezbollah fighters and accidentally killed innocent people, but Hezbollah wanted to kill innocent people but its missiles accidentally killed 12 soldiers. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. The whole world was watching when they destroyed Lebanon, and they acknowledged the right for Israel to defend itself, they all gave the green light for these basturds to kill innocent people. Basturds? Basturds would be highly offended if they were compared to those humane beasts. And by beasts I don’t only mean the Israelis, no sir, I mean all of those who stood with them and gave the excuse to continue the bloodshed.
Hate is a very powerful feeling, and believe you me, they hate for a very good reasons, or for 1400 good reasons. Don’t expect a child who lost five of her siblings and both parents in Qana massacre to "like" America, or Israel, don’t expect me to like America and the American president when he says that he is sorry for what happened but this can not be considered a was crime. Don’t expect me to like you when have double standards, one where Arabs are guilty of everything, and the other where you and Israel are always right. Don’t expect me to like you when you send me psychopaths to liberate me, the kind of psychopaths which decide to rape a 14-year old girl and kill her whole family, including a 5-year old sister, just for the heck of it, just because the got bored of playing golf. The poor men got bored, so they decided to rape and kill a little girl. If those are your brave and courageous, what would your cowards look like? Seriously? Haven’t you had enough? I mean is its really self defense to destroy a whole country for the sake of tow soldiers? They said that they don’t have a problem Lebanon or Lebanese people, the want Hezbollah, and yet, the destroyed the whole country. Who are you bullshitting assholes? It aint me, that’s for sure. It's only the dumb asses who watch Fox news and believe that pathetic excuse for a humane being, George W. bush. If you believe this bullshit, then you are a stupid, fat ass, dumb ass, redneck just like your stupid president.
Sorry for the language, but I just couldn’t take anymore. This has gone way beyond my tolerance; this has crossed the line for me so far away that I can't even see the line anymore. I know it all, I know that Hezbollah is fighting Iran's war; I know that they work for Iran; I know the fought with the Iranians against Iraq. I know all that. What I don’t know is why? Why is it ok for Arabs to get killed? Why is it ok for us to die? Why the ones who killed us aren't called terrorists? Why when a bunch of lunatics hijack a plane and fly it onto a tower, why should I, and millions with me pay for it? Why weren’t they terrorists when they were working for the CIA? Why can Israel do anything and don’t get to pay for it? Why can Israel get away with anything?
I'm so sick of it all. Ill leave it to that. I will say no more. Until next time.

2006-07-10T15:17:00.000+04:00

AND JUSTICE…. FOR YOU

Depressed as ever, feeling guilty, feeling that there is no meaning to me existence, useless, invalid, sitting on my chair, in front of my laptop, trying to write something, trying to get all of it out from my system, listening to Fairuz, this angelic voice that soothes me and brings out the memories, the good and the bad, the bad being predominant, lost in the realm of nostalgia and regret over mistakes and bad judgments that I made through out my life, I sit here.
I see what's happening, I see people die, I hear their cries, I listen to their agony, I watch them going straight through the road of their demise, and I can't do anything to stop it. Life is very much over-rated; guilt is very much under-rated.
I want to tell you a story; it's in Arabic originally, so I'll try to translate it to English.
Once upon a time, when the crusaders took over Jerusalem, they say that a man from Jerusalem fled the city, and went to the capital of the Islamic world to seek help to save his city. Everywhere he goes, people ignore him, everyday door he knocks, he gets nothing but silence. Feeling that people are indifferent to his cause, seeing they were busy with trivial matters, while their land is being invaded and their brothers are being slaughtered, mercilessly butchered by the hands of the invader and his puppets, he had an idea.
It was Ramadan, the month in which all Muslims fast from sunrise to sunset, he asked to do the speech after prayer in the biggest mosque in the city, being a well known man and from a well known family, he was granted his request.
So he got up the platform, and sat on the stairs, pulled a piece of bread out of his pocket and started eating in front of all the people whom were watching him with shock and surprise, which, a few moments later, turned into anger and upheaval. It is strictly forbidden for someone to show that he is not fasting during Ramadan, anybody who does that is punished with public lashing in the city's central square. Anyway, our friend stopped the people who were coming at him, and he told them to be quite and listen to what he was going to say, they all listened anxiously, then he said" you get furious because one man is eating while you are fasting, and you do not show the slightest concern that your brothers are being slaughtered?"
Mr. prime minister has realized that the American troops have immunity, and wants to "discuss" this matter with the Americans next time they convene. The Americans are feeling "dissatisfied" with these statements from the prime minister. Our elected representatives feel that the government should lift this immunity and cancel the order which Paul Baraimer issued when he was head on the CPA, which gives this immunity to the American soldiers.
That’s all nice…. One question though, did it really take that long for you to realize that? 150,000 Iraqis died, more than 50(some say 500) are dying daily in Baghdad, people can’t even bury their dead, and now you tell that you wont to lift the immunity and dissolve the militias? Now?
I mean do they really care? The little girl was raped and murdered almost 2 years ago, and nobody paid any attention. The story was forgotten, until one of the accomplices came out and confessed. Where was the Iraqi "sovereign and independent" government?
Now I hear people saying that the girl was 25 years old, not 15. You are kidding, right? Does it matter really? Does it make the crime less hideous? Does the age of the victim make the man who committed that crime less criminal? I hop this man gets justice for what he had done. As a matter of fact I hope all rapists get what they deserve, I despise rapists, especially the ones who rape children, these people are not humans, and in fact they are the exact opposite of what a human being should be.
I don’t what's going to happen, and I don’t know the out come of this trail, but I know this…. I want justice. Someone would tell you that the world is neither black nor white, and there is a big shade of grey between the tow. They might tell you that the law can not be black or white, and maybe that is true.
But justice is not grey, justice doesn’t have any color, justice doesn’t deal with race, ethnicity, religion, or background. Justice doesn’t care if that man was an American hero who came to free the Iraqi people from the tyrant, justice doesn’t care if the girl was 25 or 15, justice doesn’t care if what the fanatics and the neocons say, for justice is blind to all that.
I wasn’t justice for the victims of Saddam, I want justice for the victims of the ugly American occupation, I want justice for the victims of the religious fanatics, Sunni and Shiite, I want justice for every child killed, every mother who lost her child, and every women who was raped physically and raped out of her god-given right of being a humane being. I want justice for all.
Is that possible? I can only hope so. But I tell you this, no matter how long it takes, justice will prevail. Justice will come after the people who lied to the American people and convinced them of war, for all the wrong reasons. Justice will come after the ones who claimed they were democratic messiahs, and turned to be nothing but sectarian fanatics, common thieves, and traitors to their country. Justice will come after the ones who kill others in the name of god, despite the fact that the almighty was very clear on this in his 6th commandment "thou shalt not murder". Justice will come after all people who called Saddam names, but done a lot worse than he did. Justice for all.
Whatever happened to the "land of the free, home of the brave", whatever happened to the leader of the free world? In order for you to be free, other people should be suppressed? In order for you to be safe, other people should die? In order for you to enjoy your rights, other people's rights should be taken away from them?
I love America, I love what America stands for, I love the notion that there is some place in this world where anyone's dream could come true, I love the idea that is that place everybody is equal and the law is above all. But that ceased to be true for America. America stopped being what it tells other people to be. It has turned into a mean nation. And I'm sorry for that.
But I still have faith in America, although American seems to be O.K. with everything, the lies about the WMDs, Abu-Gharib, torture planes, secrete prisons, unlawful detention without fair trial, or any trial, unlawful and unconstitutional wire tapping, and the biggest joke of all, a stupid president who thinks god speaks to him on a regular basis.
Now our elected government wants reconciliation, but it doesn’t want to reconcile with anybody. Now I agree totally to exclude the ones who killed Iraqi people, but what about other groups? What about other people? I don’t know what they are thinking; I don’t know what reconciliation they are talking about?
I haven’t received any answer yet to my question, I asked what do I have a dead 4 year-old? And now I want to ask another question. Why do I have a raped 15 year-old girl? Anyone?

2006-06-28T14:32:00.000+04:00

TIME

This world has gone mad, it did, seriously. Maybe not the whole world but certainly most of the Iraqi people have gone mad, especially the government. The minister of commerce threatened to sever the diplomatic relations and to cancel contracts for buying wheat from Australia because the Australians shot, by mistake, one of his bodyguards, who were also his relative. Its funny isn't it? I mean think about it. I'm not talking about that poor guy's death, because that's not funny at all. What I'm talking about is how this man, the minister, thinks that this ministry is his own, like he inherited it from his father or grandfather, he is talking about canceling contracts for buying wheat, and for those of you who don’t know, we make bread out of wheat, and we eat bread,breadd is very essential, that means for the death of his relative he is ready to starve the Iraqi people. Isn't that funny? Bear with me a little, ill get to the point right away, but first I want to tell you another story, not a very long time ago, maybe a year ago, Iraq's ambassador to the United Nations raised hell because one of his family was killed by the Americans. He demanded a full and immediate investigation of the incident, and demanded also to pursue legal actions against the people who killed his cousin. He demanded that they be tried for their crime and receive a fair punishment for the atrocity they have committed.
This is so funny it that it made me cry my eyes out. You know why? It's because none of these guys said a word about the people, innocent people, who were brutally murdered in Haditha. Not a single word and not a single objection. And why? God knows why, and I bet even god doesn't know why those guys didn't say a word. I didn't hear the minister of commerce threaten to sever the diplomatic relations with America and cancel the deals to buy American wheat, I didn't hear that the Iraqi ambassador to the United Nations filed any complaints to the security council when those people were murdered like he did when his cousin was. And by the way that was a first in the United Nations history. Its funny how we let other people fight our battles. It was Times magazine which published the story first, it was the American public who reacted to story first, it was the American press who stormed the white with questions, and what did our government do? They were the last to say anything, like those peopl weren't Iraqis at all, I bet if they were aliens who came from another galaxy, the Iraqi government would have shown a lot more interest in the subject. Old people, some women and couple or more children were murdered Mr. Primerime minister. Who killed them? He asks, Zarqawi? No sir. Saddam? No sir. Insurgents? No sir. Then who god damn it? The Americans sir. NO WAY, the Americans don't kill nobody. But sir they were executed. Ahh, see what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the Iraqis sir. NO WAY. Yes sir, Time magazine published the story. Well my son, if they were Shiite I'm going to make these American assholes wish they were never born. No sir, they were Sunnis. Well son, they probably had it coming on themselves.
I just want to ask the Iraqi government and whoever has the audacity to support and defend the men who murdered those people, just this one thing, why does a 4-year old boy have to die? Anyone? Somebody please explain to me why do I have a dead 4-year old boy? What sense does it make? What purpose does it serve? How would you feel if I came to your house and killed your son? What would you call me? Murderer? Terrorist? But when YOU come into MY house, and kill MY women, and MY wheel-chaired father, and MY 4-YEAR OLD SON, then they are all just COLLATERAL DAMAGE. Collateral fuckin damage. Have you no respect? Have you any respect?
When a guy sings a song about using a little girl as a human shield you call him talented, and you call the people who felt offended by the song trouble-makers. Talented? Are you kidding me? I have been listening to music all my life, I love music, I love rock, but to call that talented is just a disgrace to music. And to say that lyrics are "funny" is just plain stupid, and forgive me for saying that, but whoever laughs to those lyrics is just stupid too. What has gotten into you? If you don't believe that there are people who think this guy is talented, just Google the song, I did that myself, and I found this blog, where this girl says that she is sick and tired on the Muslims in America because they protested against that song and the guy who wrote the song, and she calls the guy talented. I mean seriously, leaving all emotions and biases aside, were they serious? Does he really think its funny? Please, if anybody listened to the song and found anything funny about it, please please please explain it to me, cause maybe I'm just stupid or my English is not that good to understand the catch.
Moving on. Prime minister wants reconciliation. AT LAST, it's a good step; actually it's a great step. Although I had doubts about him but it seems the man is meaning well, and he is trying to prove that he means well. This should have happened 3 years ago, it would have saved us a lot lives, and we would have had a lot less blood. But you know what they say, better late than never. One thing though, if he wants to exclude the baathists, the saddamists, and Zarqawi followers, who would be left? I mean those people are the backbone of the resistance or insurgency, whatever you want to call it. He wants to review the debaathification policy, which is a great thing. A lot of the intellectuals Iraq are baathists, and many of them were forced to join baath party, and many of them have white hands. In fact many of them have whiter hands than those who threw them and posses power now. And those were the people running the country, and if you ask me they did a much better job than the new guys. I'm speaking skill-wise, not to be mistaken for a saddamist. Another great thing is that he wants to dissolve all militias, including his own party's. I wish all people be included in this process of reconciliation, except those whose hands are stained with Iraqi blood. I wish all of those criminals face fair trail, and get their fair sentence. Would it work? I certainly hope so.
I did not want to write about the reconciliation, but I did. I wanted to leave it to another tim, but I didn't, I drifted from the main topic. I wanted to talk about the indifference when it comes to Iraqis being killed, especially from thier government. I guess I said something, and I'm sorry if I used some language, but that is just the way I feel. Sorry again.
Last but not least, they say time heals all wounds, but it seems that every day my countries wounds just get deeper and deeper, sometimes but its own people, and sometimes by the hands of other people. Time is slipping away, and it maybe something that we don't have. That reminds me of a poem I once read
"But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariots hurrying near"
I don't remember where I read it, or who said it, and maybe its not relevant, but anyway, its nice. Enjoy.
And buy the way, good luck for Argentina in the world cup. I'm a big fan. If there is any Argentineans reading this, I'm with you guys, all the way to the cup. This is just a blessing, during these 2 hours we forget about everything else, even me, the pessimistic, sarcastic, depressed, and desperate Iraqi, and in shorter, your typical Iraqi. In college I used to smile a lot and at anyone, some people even hated me for smiling a lot, my girlfriend hated it and thought I was crazy, I was just satisfied with my life, and had big prospect for my future. They were some happy times, good old times. Long gone though. Anyway its 4:00 am and I should go to sleep.
Good night and God bless all.

2006-06-13T16:41:00.000+04:00

TO THE LOWEST CIRCLE OF HELL

First I want to thank the people who encouraged me; I appreciate it more than you think. Thank you people.
It never makes me happy when someone dies, ever, I would feel guilty if it did, seriously. But this time, I couldn’t help it, I wasn’t exactly happy, relieved is more like what it felt at the time. It wasn’t because I had any affection for that son of a b****, non whatsoever, but I had some personal problems that put so much stress on me. But anyway, it wasn’t a bad week at all; I have had my good news.
Maybe this the first time that I think the Americans did something right in Iraq, although there are a lot of holes in the official statement, although they threw a 500lb laser guided missile on him, although that missile has a circular error probable of 8 meters, although this missile melted the iron and turned the house into rubble, Zarqawi's buddy was virtually intact, or so it seemed. Anyway…. I can't tell you the truth, because simply I don’t know the truth, I don’t even know if he really existed, but anyway, it doest matter, he is dead now, isn’t he?
It is not the man whom I hate, it’s the thought that killing innocent people is O.K., it’s the thought that doing some grotesque, repugnant, and unholy things like beheading people, innocent people I might add, and be happy about doing it, this thought just sickens me. The thought that they think that god had ordered them to do it, the way they do there things and say the name of god make want to throw up, the thought that someone wears a explosive belt and kills himself with several other people, whom only fault was being there at the wrong time, shopping at local market to go home and feed their children. The thought that children are considered targets, and children are being killed like there is nothing to it, and believing that god is O.K. with killing children. The thought that every non Muslim is a target, even if he or she dedicated his or her life to help other people, regardless of their religion, some one like Margaret Hassan. The thought that they can say who is going to heaven and who is going to hell, that thought that they can judge people, the thought that they can kill anyone who has so much as a different opinion, that thought that they think they have the power to condemn people, the thought that they could say who lives and who dies.
This is just sick. I never want to hate anyone, alas, I'm a humane being and I cant help, but I'm trying with all my might to love and forgive the ones who do me wrong, the ones who hurt me, and the ones who hurt, and are hurting my country, I try so hard not to hate them, I try to stay positive, I try to believe it is not my place to judge, I try…. But it is just so hard. What I do hate, on the other hand, is the thoughts that these people have, I hate that they have no respect for humane life, and not just those people by the way, Iraqis I mean, I hate every dictator that ever lived on the face of this earth, I hate everyone who thinks who he is better than anyone else, I hate the people who think that the road to being better must be painted with blood, especially innocent blood. I hate people being killed, any people, anywhere in the world, I hate it when Iraqis kill Americans, I hate when Americans kill Iraqis, I hate it when Israelis kill Palestinians, and I hate it when Palestinians kill Israelis. This is just sick, and I am sick because I hate, I am sick because I have the same feelings the same people I hate have, what makes me so different from them? I want to be rid of this feeling, I want to be free.
This is so overwhelming, this is so powerful. I hate, I am hate itself, but maybe these people are braver than me because they channel their hate into action, am I a coward? Am I a coward because I don’t want to kill anybody? Is it right just to sit there and watch while other people are doing it for me? Is it right when I just sit there and let my feeling eat me from within? Maybe I am a coward, maybe I'm not brave enough to kill, I don’t know that. But these is one thing I know, that I have some courage in me, just a little bit, to try and love those who hate me, those who think that I am a coward because I chose love over killing, and those who want to kill me. Maybe I am not honest enough with myself, but at least I try. Maybe I am not honest enough with other people but at least I try that too.
Call me crazy, but who is more courageous? Then one who kills? Or the one who turns the other cheek? For me it’s the second one, and I wish I could have enough courage to turn the other cheek.
And you know what I wish too? I wish that people like Zarqawi to be tortured in hell, I only wish for these people to spend eternity just looking at their victims' eyes, just watching what their hand had done, I just want them to feel the misery and pain the inflected on their victims and their victims' families. Dante's hell is not enough for these people; even his seventh circle is not enough for them, they must feel the pain they did to other people.
If I ever go to hell, and I most probably will with the hate I have inside of me, I promise you that I will try my best to come back and tell about these people, and where they ended up, except of course if winded up locked in a room with a lesbian and beautiful women, being the coward I am, it would just like Sartre's hell, which he defines in one sentence, "hell is other people".
Anyway…. enough with all the philosophical, existential crap about me and lets get back to main topic today. One down, I-don’t-know-how-much-but-sure-as-hell there-are-way-more to go. Maybe the next one will be Mr. Bush, and don’t get me wrong I don’t want him dead, not ever, all I want is for him to be out of office and exposed in front of the whole world with his friends the neocons for all the lies the said, and for the deception and the manipulation of the great American people.
Take care my friends and hopefully we are beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel. If there is a tunnel.

2006-05-29T17:22:00.000+04:00

NOT SO FUNNY

I have decided not write anymore, not that anyone would miss me or anything, but I didnÂt feel like it, plus I didnÂt have the time.
These last days, have been filled with jokes. Everybody is joking, no one can be serious. No one can say there things and be serious about it, so in order to feel better myself I have considered everything that had happened during these last days as jokes.
For instance, the Iraqi parliament was in session, but they did not discuss the future of the country, or the deteriorating condition, or the lack of basic services, but instead, they were fighting about how much power they would have, and how much they are going to get paid, how much would they pay them if they traveled outside the country, these kinds of stuff.
When the parliament first convened, a female representative had a fight with the chairman over a mobile telephone, her mobile rang and the chairman's guards jumped her, she accused him and his guards of assaulting her.
But hey, all that doesn't matter, we have a government, not a complete one thought, but it is a good thing anyway. However, I have never heard of any government in any part of the world throughout history that was formed without of the tow most important offices named. But who say they are important anyway? One is responsible for the domestic security of the country; we don't have one anyway, so why worry?
The other is responsible for the security of the nation against foreign threats, since we are already invaded by a foreign force, and another force is dwelling inside the country with no restrictions, let alone having there minions run the country, therefore we donÂt need neither an army nor a ministry to run it.
So we see that there are no logical reasons for the existence of the ministry of interior and the ministry of defense. What the hell is all this fuss about? One might say, this is democracy. But who says that democracy is about pleasing everybody? Who said that is a democratic government everybody should be there? And what the hell do we need 36 ministries for? And why the hell nobody wants to let go of his militia? Why are
As for our so called political parties, I wonder where their finance come from, I wonder if they were registered, I wonder if there is a place to register them anyway. I wonder that there agendas are, and if you take away saddam, the baathists, killing everyone who fought is the Iran-Iraq war, and killing every scientist there is, what would be left? What are there planes for the future? What do they intend to do next? How are they going to do it? Nobody has any answer to there questions. Nobody has even asked those questions for all I know, and apparently nobody wants to.
And by the way, what did it take 5 months to from the government anyway? This is not democracy, this is chaos. And by the way again, here is a thought, if what they say is true and we are an independent sovereign country, with an elected parliament and a government appointed by that parliament, why in the hell that people come visit our capitol and some other parts of the country without telling everyone, uninvited and unexpected? Why? Why does the British defense minister come to Iraq, visit his troops in Basra and elsewhere without even telling the central government? Where are his manners? Why do secretary Rumsfeld and Secretary Rice just drop off at the doorstep of the green zone and expect everybody to come to them? Does that make any sense to anybody? Seriously? I hate this; I really really really hate this.
But what I hate the most is my countrymen's attitude, passive attitude to be more exact. I was talking the other day with a friend of mine, who currently live in Syria, he said a lot of things that really pissed me off, but there was one thing that made go ballistic, he said that Iraq was imposed upon him as a country, that he had no choice of being Iraqi. What the hell is that crap about? I'm sorry, but if Iraqis feel that way, then we have no choice whatsoever of being a country, let alone a civilized one. If we keep asking people to help us and donÂt help ourselves, if we keep waiting for god or people to help us, if we keep silent about everything thatÂs going on today, then we are doomed, then its our end, then we are signing our countries death certificate, and very much likely our own. God be with you beloved Iraq, there are little left who truly lovedidnt.
DidnÂt I tell you? It's all a joke, everything thatÂs been happening is a joke, but somehow I am not laughing.

2006-04-04T13:07:00.000+04:00

The Truth Shall Set You Free….. Maybe NOT

I was lying in my bed at 1 am in the morning, when I started thinking. I was amazed by who people see things differently, of how many of us see the same thing but in many different angles, and interpret the same thing in many different ways. Everybody sees the same thing but they don’t see the same thing the same way. Diversity is such a unique humane characteristic.
As I said we all see things, but we see them differently, even when they are so obvious and clear. Like in this half-full-half-empty glass thing, you know, some people see the glass half full, some other see it half empty, and so on. Problem is, sometimes, like in the case of my country, Iraq, there is no electricity to turn on the lights in order to see the glass, there is no water to fill the glass with, god damn it, there is no glass because some maniac blew himself up and blew the glass and a dozen people who were staring at the glass trying to decide whether is empty or full with him. That’s just crap.
Anyway, my point is, the problem with diversity is you have only one question and too many answers, like in the case of my country, Iraq, some people see the Americans as liberators and deserve to be praised, some others see them as invaders and deserve death, some work for the Americans to achieve certain personal goal, some work for them because he of she thinks that this the only way to help the country, some see the torture in Abu Gharib as an individual incident, some others as systematic or as a pattern, some people see the SCIRI as a patriotic party, some others can't forget that they same people tortured and killed most of them during the Iran-Iraq war, some call the person who blows himself up in the middle of the market a martyr, some others cal him a terrorist, some people see the ones who kill innocent women and children as terrorists, and see some other people doing the same thing on, a larger scale and a dozen folds more, as heroes and describing these actions as self defense or making excuses for the murderers by saying maybe they just snapped, some people think that war is the answer, some people think that peace is for the cowards, some people call the people who go into war patriotic some others see the people who oppose the war as unpatriotic, some people believe in god, some people don’t, some people see this, some people see that, I can go on and on and on forever about this and never be able to say everything people think, to sum up, people have different opinions.
Ok, people have different opinions, and that’s good, actually that’s very good, that’s healthy, that means that we can sit and talk and share our different opinions and views about a certain matter or thing, maybe we can't convince the other party of our point, but that should not be the point of any civilized discussion, sharing is the most important thing. Anyway, that’s not my point, my point is, while we talk share and discuss, no out views, but certain facts, what happens to the truth? We all see the truth in our own way; we want to see in the way that we most like. Like, for instance, Osama bin laden doesn’t want to think of himself as a terrorist, but as a man with a mission, but the truth is that he a terrorist. Like Mr. Bush doesn’t want to say that he went to war because Donald and dick told him to, but he wants to believe that he went to war because he wanted to help the Iraqi people. Like when bush says he went to war because he thought that Saddam Hussein had WMDs and connection with al-Qaeda, while the truth is that it was all a lie. Like when American troops kill innocent 2 year olds and the pentagon says that they were terrorists, like when they destroyed my country and claimed that they came to build it, while the truth is that did it to protect the interests on another country. See what I mean? Truth is a shapeless thing, you can give any shape you want, you can bend it, twist it, turn it inside out, anything to your satisfaction.
My mind is so messed up that I don’t know the truth anymore, there are too many truths, you know. The Iraqi government says that they have made many accomplishments, I see none, but they maybe be INFRA- structure accomplishments, naturally, I wouldn’t see any. The neo-cons say that everything is A-OK in Iraq, I don’t see that, but maybe because the electricity is our and I can't see past my nose. Condy says that they made "bad judgments but not mistakes", I can't see the difference, but maybe that’s just some Ebonic crap that I can't "DIG". Bush says that America is wining the war in Iraq, well…. no comment. But maybe they are all right and it's me, the problem is me, I alone can't see the fact that they are saying, maybe I'm just blind, or just plain stupid.
Can somebody please tell what the hell is going on here?

2006-03-27T18:14:00.000+03:00

My Bad

What I most like 60 minutes is Andy Rooney; this sarcastic man always cracks me up. I try not to miss the last five minutes of the show, in which Rooney says his comments. Anyway, there was an interview with Willie Brand, who was accused and convicted of assault maiming and manslaughter.
The prisoners in question, who later died in prison, are tow Afghanis, one a taxi driver who was captured outside an American base after in was hit. Brand's commanding officer, Capt. Christopher Beiring, says –and I quote- "they brought death upon themselves as far as I am concerned". Both of these prisoners were kept in isolation, and their arms shackled to the ceiling. "They weren’t in pain" says Capt. Beiring, "they weren’t abused as far as I am concerned, if I was a prisoner, I would think that probably be acceptable". There was another acceptable way of treating prisoners, a knee to the common peroneal nerve in the leg, a very strong strike that the prisoner would collapse in pain and lose muscle control.
Brand says that what he was trained to do, and he was not a violent man. Both of the prisoners were found dead in their cells, hanging from their chains, both autopsy reports were marked "homicide". The army spokesman said they died of natural causes. Capt. Beiring and brand both say that their superior officers knew about this, and it was common knowledge. The RC visited the prison, but they didn’t see anything, or they weren’t able to see anything, mostly because the Americans thought that had no operational reason to know about incidents like those in question, " they didn’t need to know" says Capt. Beiring. A soldier testified that the interrogators were convinced that Dilawar, one of the prisoners who died, was just a taxi driver in the wrong place at the wrong time, but still they continued to interrogate anyway, which eventually lead to his demise. They added that, had he lived, his injuries were so sever, that both of his legs would have been amputated. These soldiers were not acting outside the rules says Brand. When asked if has any sympathy for the tow prisoners, Capt. Beiring said "I sure do. I wish they were born American.
The above was taken from CBS's 60 minutes website.
Now lets try to understand this, this piece clearly states that prisoners were tortured, not just had a piece of cloth put on their heads to scare them as one anonyms person commented when I said that American troops torture people. I don’t want to through all of this again, I know, we know, everybody knows about torture, Abu Gharib, secrest prisons around the globe, holding people against their will, denying prisoners the right on an attorney, or even to inform his family that he had been captured, the right for a fair trial, or any trail for that matter. We all know that, we all heard about it, we all heard people talk about it. I was surprised when I watched that report, but what struck me the most is Capt. Beiring answer when he was asked if he had any compassion to the prisoners, he said "I wish they were born American". What the hell does that mean? Would somebody please tell me what the hell is that suppose to mean? Does it mean that if not American, you are denied any kind of rights? If not American, American can throw in jail, torture you, kill you, and maybe kill your family members, and get away with it? If not America, you are uttermenechen, the Nazi expression for sub-humans? Is that what the rest of the world is for American military? I really wish that I am mistaken, but it sure does seem that I am right. I mean tow people were murdered, and the guy who murdered them was found guilty, but he was sentenced to a rank reduction, that’s it. He should have gotten 16 years, but they only reduced his rank. Would that have happened if the tow men were Americans? I don’t know that answer to that, but wouldn’t you agree with me that I would have been different? This is so infuriating and humiliating to me. That means that if was murdered in prison, I shouldn’t expect anybody to go to jail, I shouldn’t expect anyone to be punished for my death. I may be taking it personal, but seriously, it doesn’t get any more personal than this.
But maybe after all it's my fault; my bad, I am not American after all.

2006-03-20T16:26:00.000+03:00

Into my tortured soul

Oh lord it seems like a very long time ago. Chronologically it's only 3 years, but in my mind it feels like 300 years. It feels like too many things have happened during these 3 years, too much more than I can think of, too much more than I can bare. I am losing my mind.
My tears have dried in my eyes, my blood stopped running through my veins, my whole body does not exist in its materialistic form, but it looks like I'm living in some kind of trance, locked in some space that is neither of this world not if the next. I can't define myself as a humane being anymore, nor I fit the general criteria for an animal, a rock may have clearer emotions than me.
I can't distinguish myself from the people around me, I am like a ghost living in world where nobody notices it, this ghost is neither dead, nor dead, the only thing he is capable of doing is to observe the living. Neither capable of participating in normal human beings everyday life, nor can he have peace for his trapped soul.
3 years of total alienation and estrangement from the world of the living, driven into an undesired oblivion is how I live now after the so called liberation. Everyday I see people I don’t recognize, I speak a language strange to my tongue, I eat food not familiar to my stomach, I drink water that doesn’t mix with my blood, I breath air that doesn’t pass through my lungs, everything feel strange.
But that’s nothing compared to being a stranger in your own country, to your own people, being alienated by your won brothers and sisters just because you are different, just because you don’t see what they see, and most importantly because you are who you are. It is so painful to be rejected by someone whom you felt that now you could connect with, now you could share your ideas and dreams freely without being judged. It turns out that I was being judged for who I am, it doesn’t matter what I think, it doesn’t matter what I believe, it doesn’t matter what I say, for them I am who I am, and there is nothing I can do to change that.
It is so to sit and watch while the people who said they were going to change things are going the same mistakes the other person did, to watch them pass judgments on people who their only fault is they follow this religion or that, this sect or that, this ethnicity or that.
It is so hard to see everything you dreamed of, everything you know and familiar with, everything you grew up to believe, everything they taught you, everything was just a lie, and it's just a game, and you are the only loser in this game.
3 years have passed and I'm still here, I'm still at the same spot I was in 3 years ago, I did not reach anything, I did not accomplish anything, I still haven’t adjusted to the situation. I still live 3 years ago, I still remember the new years eve of 2003 and the party me and my friend threw, I still remember my day in college, I still remember my friends as they were 3 years ago, I still remember what we used to do, I still remember how much we used to have, I still remember my father who is not here anymore, I still remember my mother who is neither here not there, I still remember my brother and his smile that I rarely see these days, I still remember my father telling me to go bring his the latest movies on CDs, I still remember watching there movies together is his study, I still remember him telling me to go get him kebab for dinner from his favorite restaurant, I still remember the smell of his cigars, I still remember the sound of him whistling when got him, he always did that, everyday when he walks through the door he whistles to announce his arrival, I sill remember all of that, but all of that is no more, in this world that I'm living in, in this time in which we live in, all of that is no more. Where did it all go? What happened that made it disappear? I don’t know, I honestly don’t know.
3 years of being lost, 3 years of suffering, 3 years of depression, 3 years of me not being me. 3 years have passed and I'm afraid that I'm going to forget all that, I'm afraid that I'm going to forget who I was and wake to see that this person I am now is it, wake up to find that this person is the real me, and all of what happened was just a dream, all of that love was just a fantasy, all of those feelings were no true. I'm afraid that I forget all that.
My eyes are sunken with tears, but they wont just fall down, they wont even give the peace everybody feels after they cry, maybe they are afraid that if they fall, I might fall with them, maybe I might change, maybe suppressing that sorrow inside of me is just a way of keeping me in that time, maybe, I am not sure of anything anymore.
Lord have mercy on your son.
"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my god is my rock in whom I take refugee. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold" Psalms 18:2

2006-03-19T13:15:00.000+03:00

17 March

Couldn’t sleep, turning in my bed, just couldn’t stop thinking, but I still I couldn’t figure it out yet, 4:00 am it is now and still can't sleep. Have you ever had this strong feeling that just keeps you awake all night? It's doesn’t have a name but I bet everybody experienced it at least once. I am so sleepy, but I just can't close my eyes.
I was thinking of what I am , who I am , what would become of me, what path should I take, but along the way I drifted to long forgotten memories, old memories, most of them so far away and distant that I can only see a vague picture. Some are happy and some are depressing, the happy ones make you laugh when you think of them, but at the end, when you realize where you are, when you realize that those happy memories have long passed, when you realize that the time and space that you live in right now has nothing to offer you but memories, you just get depressed. I still don’t understand what happened, how it happened so fast is far beyond my modest intelligence, how did I reach this place is similar to a mathematical equation which I could not solve for a hundred years. It just doesn’t make any sense to me, one day we were good, the next day everything fell apart, the world as I know it is no more.
I can put up with everything, losing my home, my family, my friends, my life, my future, I really can put up with all this, all I need is an apology, all I need is someone to say that he or she made a bad call and screwed up, seriously, that’s all I need to finally have some peace. 3 years since the war started and no one has apologized yet, no one took the blame for what happened in Iraq, no explained to me what really happened and whose responsible, not a single person. Mr. Moses …. I'm sorry, I mean Mr. Bush, acknowledged that is not going well in Iraq, but he blamed the insurgents and the Iraqi government for it, I don’t know who told him that, the guy who writes his speeches, or maybe god, since he directly speaks to him. I wonder is he has one of these red phones to call the lord to receive instructions. If I say that god speaks to me, if I say that I hear voices, they will send me to a nut house faster than light speed, but this guy got elected for tow terms as president of the world's only super power…. Crazy world.
But if god truly speaks to the president, then I guess Mr. Bush is not telling him the right stuff, which leads the lord to make some bad decisions. I think he told the lord that Iraqis are so happy with the Americans, and these road side bombs are just fireworks, he tells him that America can't pull out the troops, so they say these people were killed in order to bring them back home, and that coffins are just camouflage. Maybe he tells him they found loads on WMDs in Iraq that they had to give some to charity because they don’t have enough ships to load them on. Maybe he tells him that when they found Saddam Hussein in that hole, they found in his wallet pictures of him and Bin Laden playing golf. Maybe he tells him that those 150.000 dead Iraqi people are not really dead, but they are alive and well, and they were taken to Miami to enjoy the beach. Maybe he tells him that they were only joking with these prisoners in Abu Gharib, and these torture marks are just make-up for a horror movie they were planning to shoot there. I'm just guessing here, whatever it is that he tells god, I'm sure that it's the wrong thing
It's doesn’t matter if he speaks to the lord or not, he can speak to roger rabbit for all I care, I still need my apology, I'm still waiting to hear someone say "hey, we are sorry for your loss", but come to think of it, no American president has ever apologized to his people, let alone other people. But I'll keep waiting, I’ll sit here in my room, in front of my TV and wait for some to say I'm sorry, maybe then I can go one with my life, maybe then this pause which lasted for 3 years now will come to an end. I know I can't my 3 years back, I know I can't turn back time, I know the dead will not come back to life, I know what done can not be undone, I know all that, I know a simple word can't set things straight, but oh god it would make me feel good, it going to put an end to this struggle in my mind, it's going to answer this painful question "am I dreaming?". I still need an apology for this stupid war, I still need someone to apologize for what happened to my country, maybe them I can move on.
Maybe them I can rest.
God be with all of us.
17 March 2006

2006-03-09T16:18:00.000+03:00

LIFE IS UNFAIR

I had all of this figured out last night. I knew exactly what I was going to write when I was lying in bed, but I forgot all about it when I woke up this morning. I should write notes when I'm in bed from now on.
Somebody sent me a comment saying that I lack perspective, and my blog is not worth reading. I plea guilty on both chargers, and I have evidence. Very few people read what I write, and even fewer like it, except for my friend whom I think are only encouraging me, and they don’t want to tell me the hard truth. As for the first charge, the lack of perspective… I don’t deny that at all. But it doesn't really mater if have perspective or not, does it? I am not a world leader, I don’t have people's lives in my hands, I am not a famous figure, people don’t look up to me and believe what I say, I haven’t written any books, a lot of people don’t even know that I exist in this world, it is not significant whether I have perspective or not, and most importantly, in real life measures, I am not significant also. I do this for me, to spell out the feelings that I have been suppressing inside for a long time, what I think is for me only, many people do not share the same vision with me, and maybe some do, that is what freedom of thought is all about, talking with the other, accepting the other, but not necessarily accepting or believing what he thinks is true. What really pissed me off was what this person said about me being emotional. Do I have a reason to be emotional? Well… let's see…. My country was invaded by a foreign army, my house was destroyed, I lost all my memories from my childhood, my family is torn, some here and some there, the future is not so bright and beautiful both for me and for my country, I am not in contact with my friends, I don’t see the people I want to see, I do things that I do want to do, I live in place that I don’t want to live in, I want to pursue my higher studies but I have no money, my country men do not want me because I have different ideas and because my religion is different, I see my people killing each other everyday, I see the invaders killing my people and playing divide and conquer on them, I see them killing and torturing my people in a much more horrible way than the man they said killed and tortured many, I see the people who came with the invader, claiming that they are patriots, but doing nothing to prove it, I see the world watching my and my country's misery, doing nothing to stop it,….. What else? Do you want more? I think that’s enough grounds for being emotional. I think if you don’t get emotional after all this, then you are not humane. But hey… life is unfair.

But let me give you more reasons to be emotional. Many people see my as a terrorist, just for the simple fact that I am an Arab. How about this…. what if I told you that from 29/9/2000 to 28/2/2006 the Palestinians killed 3430 non-combatant Israeli civilians and the Israelis killed 684 non-combatant Palestinian civilians, this is a 5 to 1 ratio. You would most probably say that they are terrorists. But what I told you that it was the Israelis who killed more Palestinians, and these numbers are reversed, that the Israelis killed 5 times more non combatant civilians that the Arabs ( by the way these are not my number, they are taken from the Israeli center for human rights, and the UN) you know what the united states would say? It would say that they were defending themselves against the Arab terrorists. Here some more numbers, this time in the right order, 679 Palestinian child under the age of 15 were killed during the same time period mentioned above, while 118 Israeli child were killed during the same time period, that’s 6 to 1 ration. But we are the terrorists. But hey, life is unfair.
Another reason to be emotional, what would u say if I told that Saddam Hussien used to torture people to death, lock them in unidentified locations, execute them without trail, bury them in mass graves, and do not inform their families about their situation. You would definitely say "come on man, this guy is the devil". Well, maybe he is, anybody would call a man like a devil. But the world calls another who does the same things, only on a much larger scale, the leader of the free world, the president of the United States, George W. Bush. This man orders people to be tortured, wants to make torture legal (even Saddam didn't think of that) saying that terrorist do not deserve to be treated humanely, has killed more than 150,000 (one hundred and fifty thousands Iraqis) and counting, has lied to the American people (which is against the law by the way), is listing to your phones and scrutinize your email and search engine, is responsible for the death of more than 2000 Americans. In spite of all that, some people think of him as a hero, and many even elected him president for a second term. But hey, life is unfair.
You want some more reasons? I can't file a law suite against the united states for all the hard it had done to me or my country, nor can you, nor can my country, nor can anybody. You know why? Because the United States did not recognize the international criminal court. If they were innocent, what are they so afraid of? But they put Milosevic on trial in that court. Hey, life is unfair.
As I said earlier, I had all this figured out, I knew what I wanted to say last night when I was lying in bed, but when I woke up it was all gone. I wanted to say a lot more, I wanted to give you more reasons, but I'm just too tired to remember, too sick to of this too talk, to emotional to think. I really wanted to say more, but hey, life is unfair.

2006-02-26T00:26:00.000+03:00

I recieved and email from some person asking to write an essay on cicil rights in the middle east. I write the essay and sent to the site. I dont expect to winn anything but i did for me, to let go some of the feelingi have inside. I though of sharing it on the blog. If anybody is intersted in writng an essay too, here is the site http://www.hamsaweb.com/index.php.

Our Way…. My Dram

The dawn has come, but no day yet. After a sand storm all the corn were ripped off the earth and the ones which remained died standing. But the when the storm ended, people came out of their houses and looked at their corn fields, devastated by their loss, the realized that the corn could go, as long something else remained.*
The dawn has come for us, we know what we want, we know what we do and don’t have, when know our goal. What we don’t know, is how to get there, how to reach our goal.
Westerners often imagine Middle Eastern countries, or to be more specific, Arab countries, are still living in that period of time when A Thousand and One Nights was written. They imagine people riding camels, sheiks with concubines feathering them, a land where the entire horizon you old see in the desert, ignorant people whom only concern is to fill their bellies and sleep with their wives or concubines.
Partly that is true, we, Arabs, still live in those days mentally. We haven’t evolved to see what has come to the world, what changes have come to pass during our long lethargy. We missed a lot, during our prolonged slumber that it is very hard for us to catch up with the rest of the world, especially in the issue at hand, civil rights.
As I said we are not ignorant as they think we are, nor as weak. We are just dormant, drugged by both our regimes and the western world which claims it has come to help us get rid of these regimes, when all it does is nothing, if not worse than the regimes they call suppressive.
In battle for civil rights, there is no help, if one can not help oneself. Nobody can help you get what is rightfully yours, if you are sitting and watching them taking it from you. Whoever comes to help is seeing to his own interest, not yours.
We think that violence will solve all of our problems, and through the strength of arms we could reach our salvation. Contrary to what they say, that is not true. We only have to take a look at history to know that many of the grate steps towards civil rights were won by peaceful demonstrations, strikes, and boycotting.
The people in Montgomery won the battle against segregation in the city transport system simply by walking. They were determent to reach their goal. An old woman was asked whether she was tired of walking or not, she replied that her legs were tired but her soul was not. Determination won the battle in spite of all the horrible, vicious, and violent reaction from the white-dominated state police and administration.
At the end they won, their only weapon was their determination and faith. The saw their goal so vivid and clear, and the path to reach their goal, although hazardous and perhaps could lead their demise, so straight.
Although we have made some steps towards recognized our rights in the Middle East, and less steps towards practicing them, we still have a long way to go.
In the United States they say an educated consumer is a good customer. What we really need is educate the people in our countries about civil rights, we need to tell them what they are missing, and what opportunities they might get when they speak freely, what change could they make to their society if they discussed it's problems both positively and openly, what could they gain from being able to criticize their government, and how that government could function better. Education is the corner stone for everything, if you want to people to believe in what you are saying, u must talk to them, convince them with what you are proposing would make their life better, motivate them to change by promising them that they would end up better than they are now.
When the black community in Montgomery boycotted the bus company, they didn’t just get better seats in the bus, they felt better about themselves, they felt powerful, able to change their reality from being lesser to the with race to equal. They had both them moral and material incentive to move them, and they did it all without shedding a drop of blood. Many on these people were illiterate, few with college degrees, but all of them knew that they were doing, all of them knew exactly what they wanted.
In the middle east, we have many people with college degrees, and many other with higher degrees, and at the same time we have one of the highest illiteracy percentages in the world, but what we lack them most is prospective. We have the incentive to change, we have the means to make that change, what we don’t have is the will to do it. And even if we did it, we wouldn’t have any idea what to do with it, it would look like giving a computer to person to someone who just came from the 15th century. We need to learn, to educate ourselves and our brothers before making any move, we have to take things slowly one step at a time to reach our goal, to change. All change starts from within, everybody can change if they wanted to, everybody can change the world if he or she had the will power to do it, and most importantly, everybody can change his or her own world.
But lets say that we reached all that, lets say that we reached our dream, and we won our battle for equality and civil rights, there is still one major problem in our society, women rights. A society, and society can't get anywhere when half of that society is left behind, this situation can get you forward, because when u make a step forward, u will be pulled back by the other half which you left behind. Arab women are not equal to Arab men no matter what they tell you. women are considered a lesser and weaker sex. In some Arab countries they don’t have the right to vote, in Saudi Arabia they don’t even have the right to drive a car, let alone that they are forbidden to go anywhere without their male guardian, they are forced to wear hijab that covers them from head to toe, they wont even let them in official building if they weren’t accompanied by their male guardian. They are denied they right to learn, to go to school, to choose who they would marry, to work, and other matters which any women in a civilized country would take for granted. At the beginning of the past century, women, in Europe and America, fought for their rights, under very harsh circumstances similar to those we are living in the Middle East in our current time. Eventually, after a long tiring fight, they won. However the circumstanced may seem similar, we have something very different, religion. Islam is very considerate for women's rights, Muslims are not. Men interpreted many verses from the Quran not they way they were meant to be, to gain control over women. In a male-dominated society, some issues are considered taboo, and anybody who discuses them should expect serious consequences, and one of these issues, if not one of the biggest, is women rights. Denying equality for an important part on society is a major setback in our way to reach our goal of gaining civil rights, but what is bigger than that is that we that we don’t even discuss it, we don’t realize our mistakes, we don’t repent.
As I said earlier, we must change from within before we can change out surrounding. We must realize that we have the power, and once the wheel is turned, there is no stopping it. We must educate ourselves, we must figure out what we are doing wrong, before pointing out fingers at our governments or foreign conspiracies. We must believe that we are equal, we must understand our duties towards our country, and be ready to sacrifice what we hold dear for the sake or its progress.
That is how we reach our goal, that is what we must know, that is what we must do….. That is my dream.

*the 1st paragraph is taken from "The grapes of wrath", by John Steinbeck.

2006-02-16T16:54:00.000+03:00

DIFFERENT ISSUES....

1- CARTOONS
The cartoon fever has not backed yet. People all over the world are still arguing about it. I have seen this happen for a very few times, if not for the first time ever, the Muslim world is gathered in one front. I wish this happened for some good reasons not some stupid cartoons. I wish this happened when America invaded Iraq, or when the Israelis kill Palestinian children, or anything else that really matters to us other than some stupid cartoons published in a not very well-known tabloid.
And lets dsay that this thig do matter, lets say that we are right and this is a bigger issue than the daily killing of our people, what were you trying to prove when u burned, destroyed the building, and killed some of your people? For maybe the first time in my life, I saw everybody gathers together for one cause. I thought to myself, its silly, but hey .... Maybe its a start. But it seems that we cant do anything right, can we? You are giving them exactly what they want, you are letting them say" look .... We were right when we said they just a bunch of retardes". You made the world look at you, you made them think that they might be making a great mistake by ignoring you, you showed them unity and determination. But did u have to fuck it up at the end?

2-TORTURE
I was thinking about what to say about the video showing British soldiers beating the brains out of some Iraqi kids, I had much chance really, cause I was struck by the photos from Abu Gharib.
I am really out of words, nothing can describe the feeling that I have. Usually, when I see such things, I need some time and a lot of cigarette packs to recover from the shock, to calm myself. But this time, it is really disgusting. If anybody else talks about democracy in Iraq and how the Americans freed us, I will personally torture him or her, using these photos as my guide, cause I cant take anymore of that crap. Forgive for using some bad words, I am really pissed.
I see these pictures and I hear people talking about what they claim that used to happen before, and I think. What has really changed? I am seriously going insane, I don't know whets happening, are living the same thing but in a different time? Or maybe we are still living in that time? I know I am not making any sense, but hey, does these pictures make any sense to you? Torturing people for fun by the same one who claim they come to free them and teah them democracy? Torturing people by the ones who claim that they come from most civilized country in the world? Are they really civilized? Did they come to domocratize the Iraqi people? Everything say otherwise, Everything says not.
Make no mistake, don't let them convince you that these are separate incidents made by individuals. This is crap, these things are not separate, this is a systematic operation to kill and humiliate the Iraqi people. Mr. Bush..... You troops make Saddam's mukhabrat look like small naive children, what your freedom troops are doing to these people in the same place where you claim Saddam Hussein used to torture them, makes it look like what you claim he was doing is just a chaildsplay.

3-VICE PRESIDENT
The vice president shot some guy, and nobody knows anything about it. Does that make any sense to you? They don't want to politicize the matter, it was just a hunting accident. I am not saying he was trying to kill him, but it is political. It just gives you some idea about how this administration hide information from you people.

4-WMDs AND THE TAPES
The New York Times says that a former member of the CIA says that the information about Iraqi WMDs were manipulated to fit Mr. Bush's thirst for war. This man says a lot of the information was either "not true", "fabricated", or just pure bullshit. (I was quoting from the newspaper, but the last one is from me).
The papers concerning the nager deal were proven to be fraudulent, the story about the aluminum pipes was just pure crap, the agent who made this story didn't even get the measurements right. This "curveball" guy proved to be a liar, giving false information to get money and political refugee status. This guy gave them the moving labs idea. All crap. But the just wont quit, will they? Now they say they have some tapes that prove tham Saddam Hussein had the intetion to resume the biological weapons program. I have listened to some parts of these tapes, in one of them a guy says to the president what could be translated as" you just have to say the word sir, we are prepared". OK.... What I really want to hear is what did the president said to him? What did he say? Yes? No? I bet my life that he said no, cuuse if he said yes, we would have heard it, woudlnt we? Just don't believe everything u hear or see. Don't simply give this administration your trust. Because the lied to you for many times. If you believe them, you would be plain stupid.

5-1984
Big Brother is watching you. Chronologically, 1984 has come to pass, but not in the Orwellian sense. At least not fom Mr. Bush. Big Brother is watching all of America now, and when he was exposed, he was repentant. What happened to the constitution? I guess they are using it a toilet paper now, or to cover to wounds or the dead bodies of the 100,000 Iraqis who died without reason.
Once upon a time, a long time ago, America was the dram, now its only a nightmare. They, Americans, used to believe in humanity, now all the believe in is themselves and their masters in Israel, only in absolute power and world domination. The olny thing that drive them is the imperliastic urge to control the wolrd regardless of the number of human casualties who die in the way.
They are killing your spirit, you soul. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO WAKE UP AND REALIZE THAT?

2006-02-10T13:52:00.000+03:00

I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER...
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=HAS20060204&articleId=1884

2006-02-04T14:39:00.000+03:00

WHAT DO WE REALLY WANT?

In the last few days, all I could hear people talk about, or watch on the news is this damn cartoon that this Danish journalist published. Muslims all around the world have been protesting against it. Burning the Danish flag, boycotting Danish products, and even making threats on the lives of some people.
Well... They have the right to do that, there is no doubt about that. The real question is "How do we chose our fights?"
First I have to say that I am not Muslim, but I am an Arab. And maybe its not may place to give an opinion on this matter, but I will do it anyway. I will do it because I am losing my mind, and if something like this happens one more time I am going to check in a nut house myself.
They said that they were insulted, and they forget that they are being insulted every single day. They said they were humiliated, and they forget that are being humiliated ever Single day too. The said that they have been outraged because the prime minister of Denamrk wont apologize for what the paper did, why should he apologize? He hasn't done anything, he hasn't said anything. They want him to make the paper apologize, they cant realize he cant do that, he has no power over the paper or the journalist, he cant make them say something they don't want to say. They said that this journalist wouldn't dare picture Christ in the same way. Well.. Maybe this journalist wouldn't, but others would, and they had done, and still doing it. These people obviously haven't read Da Vincci's cod, or Holy Blood Holy Grail, and haven't watched The Last Temptation of Christ or read the book either. Christ and Christianity are being mocked everyday by people, plays, movies, books, columns, newspapers, magazines, radio, television, internet, every single way, and nobody cares. Did they care when the terrorists bombed 7 churches in Iraq the other day? NO, they didn't. If you don't believe in Christ, that's between you and him, its nobody's business.
Why do they boycott Danish products? Why do they punish the whole country for what one man did? And they wonder why did the prime minister refuse to apologize. I will tell you why, because he has pride, he refuses to apologize in the name of his nation for what one man did. They went to him, when the paper first published the cartoons, and he said what are you coming to me for? If you feel that this is not right, go to court, its as simple as that.
I am so disappointed and frustrated. Everybody forgot about everything, and put their minds on poor Denmark. This is just bullshit.
people are being murdered everyday in the Arab and Islamic world, and they don't dare point a finger. The Imams are crying their eyes out for Mohammed, but they don't say a word about the American daily killing of Iraqis. Israel has been killing Palestinians everyday for more that fifty years, and they don't dare protest and pull the Israeli ambassador. They boycott Danish products, which are mainly dairy products, and they buy weapons from America and England for hundreds of billions of dollars, weapons they don't need, they wont use, they don't even know how to use them, so they have to buy experts to teach them.
Maybe we are stupid, maybe we are hypocrites, maybe we are retarded. What did denamrk and Norway do to us? What did they do to thousands of refugees? They housed them, They gave them taxpayers money for doing nothing, just for being idle. They gave their children education. These people came begging for freedom and they gave them freedom, they gave them security, while the gallows was waiting for most of them in their countries.
After all that, they are protesting. I hoped they would do that when America invaded Iraq, I hoped they would do that when Americans tortured Iraqi prisoners in Abu Gharib. I hoped they would do that when newspapers said that Americans are raping little Iraqi girls. I hoped they would cry over the everyday killing of Iraqi people by American troops just as they cry for Mohammed. But they didn't do as I hoped, they kept watching us getting killed and raped, and they are still. I don't think Mohammed himself would accept that.
What is happening to us? Haven't we learned anything from the past 600 years? I guess not. Have we learned anything from modern history? I guess not too.
We make a whole fuss about some stupid cartoons, which are not ever funny by the way, and we forget about other, greatly important matters in our lives. Like we are free from the occupation, we don't have any disease that's is killing our people, all people, men, women, and children are literate, we have democratic governments, and the national wealth is being used for the welfare and happiness of the citizens.
Give me a break......... Please.
*I would like to note that I am not against Islam or any other religion, and the point of this is not to mock or insult Islam or any Islamic figure.

2006-01-23T19:00:00.000+03:00

THEY WON...... I KNEW IT

They won the elections, they didn't get the majority though. But its doesn't matter, they won. Even if all the others put their seats together, it wont be as much as them.
I was hoping that maybe things are going to change, and I would be able to go back home. I was hoping that maybe they would yield to US pressure and form a governments that includes everybody. I was hoping that they would lose, and all the early results were just a bad joke. But... Well, what can I do? They won. I knew they are going to win, but I was hoping. Doesn't matter. Its just another 4 years always from home. Just another wasted 4 years of my life, just another 4 years of doing things I don't want to do, seeing people I don't want to see, and living a life I don't want to live. Just Another 4 years away from, another 4 years of wishing and hoping, another 4 years of exile.
but who says its going to just 4 years? Everybody tells me that its going to be more, but I'm still hoping that its just going to be 4.
The losers said that they played the elections, and they manipulated the seat count to get more seats on their-the losers- account. I don't know about that, but the special committee that the Un sent to assess the authenticity of the elections found no proof to support these allegations. Although they cancelled some ballot boxes, but their number was so little, that it wont make any significant difference in the finale results.
before the results, they-The Supreme council for Islamic revolution in Iraq- about forming a national government, with all the players represented. But, out of a sudden, they said that they don't have to do that. They won, and its their earned right to form their government, and the people who have lost should accept it. Sadly, this is true. They won, they are entitled this right by law, and the rest can go and hit their heads to a wall for all they care.
Now they other people, the ones who lost, turned to begging. Allawi, is now negotiating to get the vice-president, even though he is working against eh group, but he wants that job so bad that he doesn't care about anybody else.
The other groups are fighting as well, to get a piece of the cake. But what I think they don't realize, is that if they take part in that government, they should accept everything it says and does. They should vote WITH every bill they propose. Can they do that? There are major differences between the Sunni's agenda and the Shite's agnenda. So its practically impossible for them to be together, I cant even begin to imagine the problems if they did. This government could take a year to be put together. That's just absurd.
I want to say let us see what are they going to do, I want to say that let us see what can they do. But I cant. Cause I know what they are going to do, and what they are capable of doing. I have seen it, and I'm sure that all of us have too.
All I can do now is hoping, for these people to change their mind, and to change their way of thinking. But I know this is not going to happen.
I just want to say one last thing... If they did play the elections, I don't blame them for it. They have all right to do that. Just take a look on this book, "Fooled again" by Mark Crispin Miller. This book talks about how people play the elections in the country that calls it self the leader of the free and democratic world. Here is a link if you want to read about it,http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=viewArticle&code=FLO20060120&articleId=1764.
Now my point is if this happens in America, then why do you people say that we are retarded undemocratic third-world countries? Maybe because we do it in a less sophisticated fashion? There is no other reasons. Unless you don't know what this happens in your countries, or maybe you are just hypocrites. Or maybe just plain stupid. I don't know why. I leave that to you.

2006-01-11T03:02:00.000+03:00

LIKE NO OTHER !!!!

First I want to congratulate my Muslim brothers and sisters, and wish them many happy returns. This ied comes like the rest of the others ieds, filled with sorrow and despair. Back home, in Baghdad, old people used to congratulate each other and say" inshalla al sana al jaya bil qudus", which means: in god's will, next year we will celebrate ied in Jerusalem. I don't think that's ever going to happen. Everybody hopes that the next year will be better, but every year it gets worse.
Anyway... I don't want to bother anyone who is radians this by our, I mean us Arabs, failure, or actually failures, cause this ied what all people are wishing for in Iraq is to be safe, or so I heard. I'm not Muslim, but almost all my friends are Muslims, I find it difficult to say happy ied to all of them, so if any of them is reading this... You know.
Saturday, they are going to release the final results for the elections, like nobody knows them. God... They decided who's going to be president, and who going to be prime minister, and who's going to get the left-over from their dinner. Now, after all that, they are going to release the finale results. Give me a freakin break.
Yesterday I was listing to Mr. Bush's speech as usual, and as usual also there was nothing new. But I want to ask something, seriously... What in the name of the almighty god is wrong with this guy? Does he ever learn? I am really pissed off, I started writing this tow days ago, but every time I start writing something I stop and delete it. This man real makes no sense at all. First he acknowledges that all the information about WMDs were "inaccurate", he didn't say wrong or deliberately falsified to his liking, anyway... He keeps on going about about how president Saddam Hussein used to torture his people, and he forgets that he wants to legalize torture. Then he goes on about freedom for the Iraqi people and how he made democracy possible for them, but he forgets that he violated that when he ordered the NSA to tap people's phones without a court order, and didn't even apologize when people knew about it.
He says that Saddam Hussein used WMDs on his people, and he forgets that his troops are doing the same to the Iraqi people too. He says that they moved the frontier of the war on terror outside the United States, and instead of fighting terrorists in his homeland, he is doing so in another country, meaning when people die, they will not be his people, so it doesn't really matter. So that means for me that my people are dying to keep Americans free. And you call us retarded? We are dying for you people!! Isn't that selfish? I don't know, who am I to answer this? I am just one the of the lambs ready to be sacrificed on the altar of American freedom. Silly me, and I thought that people should fight for their own freedom, but I guess that was a long time ago, and now the rule is people who have nothing to do with war on terrorism should die for the Americans. So much for human rights, I guess they should rename it to be "The American humans rights", cause they apply only for Americans. Can't you people see? After all that you ask why do we hate you? He says that we hate you because you are free, but that's just crap. We don't hate because you are free, we don't hate you because of your way of life, and most certainly we don't want to invade the US and make you our slaves. We just want you to be fair, just as you claim you are. We hate you because you are unfair to us. We don't hate you because of who you are, We hate because of what you do. We don't hate the American people, We hate the American policy in our region. We don't care about your policy towards Brazil, Cuba, China, or north Korea, or whatever else, that's your business, not ours. What we do care about is your policy towards us, towards our problems, towards our concerns. For me... I don't hate Americans, on the contrary, I love all what's American, I love the movies, I love the food, I love the your way of life, I love your way of organizing your life, but I hate the government's policy, and I hate this administration because it is killing my people, and because it caused me a lot of pain both generally and personally. We want to be your friends, but your leaders want us to be your followers, they keep filling your heads with lies about us, and how we want to kill you. We don't want to kill you, but what would you do if someone tries to kill you? Wouldn't you defend yourself? I don't want anybody to get me wrong, hate is a very negative feeling, hate can make you do a lot of this that you don't want to do. I don't want to hate anybody, and this one of the ways in which I want to control this feeling, to get it all out of system, to say what I want to say to people. I don't want to hate anybody.
Please understand that, and please don't judge me. And please forgive my weakness.
Bless you all .

2006-01-09T17:57:00.001+03:00

GOOD MORNING.... ARE YOU STILL ASLEEP?

Some poeple wanted me to comment on Al-Thawaheri's speech,but I'm sorry. I don't want to dignify this person by responding to anything he said. These poeple give a negative picture to islam and jihad, they are criminals and murderers. Although I am not really fond of America, but I hope they find and his master Bin Laden, and put them to trial.
On the other hand he said some things that i find intersting, like how Mr. bush is loosing the war, and some other stuff. I hate the guy and i despise his methods and his way of thinking, but he and I have something in common, we both know what Mr. Bush doesnt, he is losing.
Today I want to talk about the Iraqi prime minister and his visit to the Kurdstan rebuplic!!! Yes, you didn't misunderstand me, and I didnt make one of my many grammatical mistakes, it is Kurdstan Rebuplic, the Independent Kurdstan Rebuplic. They gave the prime minister a formal reception, with the red carpet and the formal guard, the whole nine yards. And this is not just me talking, with my grudges againt the new iraqi goverment, this is real.
These poeple have issued thier own passports, and again this is not me talking, saudi officials complained that the Iraqi goverment sent an entire plain filled with kurds holding a kurdish passport, and when they refused to give them visas, the Iraqi goverment protested to that disicion.
Are they oficially seperated from Iraq? I really dont know, and i dont think the prime minister does, the guy just wants to stay in office no matter what. It doesnt matter if the kurds took the north, and Al-Hakeem too the south, he would still have the Green Zone all for himself. And the tell me to go the movies, what the hell for? I can watch all the comedy i want in the news. Like when Mr, Bush tell us about his strategy to win the was in Iraq, Isn't that a little too very much late sir? You should have made this befor the war. Or this other time when he tell us that the war wasn't about the WMDs, and the reason was to free the Iraqi people from tyrany and oppression,and at the same time, as a good-will gesture, give Iraq as a christams gift to Iran, but when he realized that he sent the gift to the wrong address, the Iranians refused to give it back.
Or this other time when Iraqi poeple say that they are thankful to the Americans for invading thier country and outsting the former presedint Saddam Hussien, this is the first time in modern history, or maybe on the whole history, that poeple are thankfum becaue thier country was taken from them.
i read a blog, written by a fellow Iraqi, or so he claims, thanking Mr.Bush, and telling him to keep on the good work. This guy says that Mr. Bush is doing a great job in Iraq, and his troops brought freedom and justice for the iraqi peopl. He probably havent seen Falluja and Abu Gharib.
See? Why go to the movies? You can see all the comedy, drama, and action you want to see in the news.
And if u wanna hear some really bad oweful jokes, just listen to one of Mr. Bush's speeches.

2006-01-03T22:50:00.000+03:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR?

First of all I want to say happy new year to all, and I wish everybody a good year, or at least a better year than the last one.
Anybody heard Mr. Bush saying that all the intelligence information about Iraq before the war were"in accurate". I didn't listen to or read the speech in English, and this is the closest translation to what I read. He was pretty keen not to use the word "wrong" or "false", and he didn't apologize to the American people let alone the Iraqi people. He said that they should "adapt", and it doest matter anyway, the info that is, because now the Iraqi people have democracy. He didn't actually say it, but that was what he meant.
Doesn't matter?No... Seriously? I mean what is that? I give him every right to say what he wants, cause the guy is blind. He doesn't se beyond his nose, and he doesn't to listen to anything other than himself. He thinks god speaks to him, and he has a mission, he actually used the word "crusade" once, maybe he thinks that they will give the crown of Jerusalem after freeing it from the infidels, I don't know, who am I to judge?
Anyway, that's not the point here. The point is, in a democracy when people do something wrong or give wrong information to the public they get punished if they deliberately mislead the public the go to trail, or at least the are forced to resign office. So what happened when Mr. Bush said what he said? NOTHING. I bet the Americans didn't even give a damn. But then again maybe America is not a democracy after all, I mean hey... They tap people's phones without a court order, the want to legalize torture, they even have secret prisons in which prisoners are held without trial. So much for the protector of the free world.
But hey it's all for the grater good, and again who am I to judge?
They are doing well in Iraq, reconstruction,democratic elections, new full term government, absolutely great. But-there is always a but- we Iraqis are so stupid and dumb that we don't see all of that, they have to pay us to realize it. The American military paid newspapers to publish the "good suff" about Americans troops, they even paid some groups to participate in the elections and to persuade other groups to do so too. I didn't practice my right in the elections, guess the check bounced!!
I want to say a lot more but I really do not know where to begin, maybe some other time.
Happy new year everyone.

2005-12-12T15:22:00.000+03:00

ELECTIONS!!!

The upcoming election in iraq is not going to to do anything but deepen the already exsiting war between the different groups of Iraqis. This elections is the fruit of presifent Bushs presistence on having the january elecion earlier this year, but where is it going? what problems its gonna solve? and what should we expect from the new goverment?
Analysits in the united states say that this elections should be posponded to gather more support to the action from the sunnies, and make further progress towords ending the military risistance.
One might argue that this agenda which the united states commited itself to, has been succesful. This agenda resulted in and interm goverment, an interm parliament, a constitution, and of course paving the way for a new 4-year goverment. All of that is correct, but this agenda failed to meet one important goal, which is national agreement.
In fact, this agenda was the casue of the soaring of the resistance, and icreasing both the quantity and the quality of the attacks against amercan and Iraqi troops.The New York Times says that insiders told the paper that this was not the best plan, there were other plans, but Mr. Bush had to choose this one because America was under a lot of pressure, especially from the Sistani.
The first elections resulted ,after 3 months of debate, in an interm goverment, a coalition between the Shiite and the Kurds. This goverment was not the an i deal one, even its most important supporter, the Sistani, expressed his disappiontment.
In the upcoming elections, the different groups of the Iraqi people will go to the boxes, but the discion of whom to vote to, is going to based on ethnic and religous bases.
This would nothing but deepen the division already exsisting. This elections would not offer a solution for the problems. And by problems, I dont mean the services like water and gas and so on, I mean the biggest problem that is facing the new Iraq.... Division and seperation.
Patrick Kukbern-sorry if I didnt get the spelling right- says that after president Saddam Hussien, there was building and there was distruction, the latter was the most successful till now, he says that Iraqis see seperation as the only was out of this situation. This situation is alrady exisisting in the north, where the Kurds have thier own goverment, police, and even an independent army.
The sunnies say that thier ok with that situation, but they are not saying that becasue the believe in it, they say it because there is nothing they can do about it. But the greatest danger in coming from the south, where Abd Al-Aziz Al-Hakeem wants to form a kind of federation that includes 9 provnices, which leaves the 5 to the central goverment. The Americans are afraid that this would make the new goverment just a bunch of buildings in the green zone. This fear is further deepened especially after the Kurdish goverment signed contract with a cpompany from Norway to look for oil in Zakho. The new constitution gives the provinces to excavate and invest oil in thats is found in thier terittory.
They hope, the Americans, that a new goverment will rise, and this goverment would include the 3 main branches, sunnies, shiite, and kurds. In theory that is the most plausible solution for the problem, but this is just why there is a problem. Because every minister is acting like he owns his office and everybody working in it.
When AL-Jafary came to office, everybody in his office was fired, and new employees were appointed, all from his party. The minister on interior, Bakir Solagh, made the ministry a castle for the memebers of the Islamic reveloution party, Al-Hakeems people. They say that he fired most of the officers appointed by his predecessor, and aappointed new ones, who are members of his party. Most of these new officers do not even speak arabic, not to mention that they still recieve thier paycheck from Tahran.
Mr. Kukbern further adds that the Americans are losing thier infleunce on the country on daily bases, thats situation led them to turn to arab countries like Egypt and Suadi Arabia, which the americans ignored untill till recently.
The new Iraq, Mr, Kukbern says, would be nothig but a name on the map.

2005-12-02T20:10:00.000+03:00

BUSH'S SPEECH

There was nothing new in president Bush's speech to the troops in Anapolis, the same old speech over and over again.
Even the American newspapars said it was a repetion of old speeches. The American public wanted to know if the president learned from mistakes, appearently, he didn't.
Mr. Bush, who's as far as u can go form realizing reality, was saying the same things he said befor. We have seen this befor.
The public wanted to hear about his strategy in Iraq, they wanted to know when he is going to pull the troops out, they wanted to know what went wrong and how he is going to make it right.
But they didn't hear that, its like they give him the same speech every time to read in public, they maybe use the same papers on which the first speech was printed on.
By the way that's not my opnion, that's what the New York Times said, not to the word, but the gist is the same.
Now ill qoute. He said something about the Iraqi army taking control of some areas. The truth was these areas in the middle and the south are already controlled by the shiite milttias, they just chnged thier clothes.
I remembered Nixon's speech back in 1969, the tow speeches are very much similar. Just change the democratic procces in Iraq with the Paris confrence and and you will find them similar. Nixon, howevr, admitted that the Americans were losing and the war was a mistake. He had the luxury to say so because he didnt start that was in Vietnam, so he could said anything. Unfortunatly Bush didn't have that luxury.
President Bush is in quite a dilema, he can't pull out now, becasue that would be a disaster for him and for Iraq. But at the same time he can't sustain to remain in Iraq for indefenit time, add to that, the addminstration haven't reached a realastic strategy yet, and we must not forget that the Iraqis themselves are starting to feel that they should be left on thier own.
The democratic progress in Iraq, was shadoweed by reports saying that the American army paid some papers to publish articles in its benefit.
Even when he talked about progress in training the Iraqi troops, and they are now more ready and qualiffied to be on their own, a lot of poeple didn't approve.
Clearly he is the only who sees that progress. As a matter of fact i dont think he listend to his generals when they speaking to the congress. The truth is only a handful of troops can preform military actions without support from the American forces.
The rosy picutre he painted for Iraq, was not nearly close to the truth.
I suggest that u dont listen to me, I dont approve with the American policy, and i might not impartial, because I see the Americans as invaders. So dont listen to me, what do i know?
I suggest u read the New York Times, The Washington Post, The Los Angles Times, The Independent, and The Guardian.
Read these papers and see for yourselves how far from reality Mr. Bush is.
Agian, this is not my opinion, its YOUR opinion.

2005-12-02T20:09:00.000+03:00

iraq

2005-12-01T13:17:00.000+03:00

She Apologized !!!!

Madlene allbright, the former secretry of state, apologized for saying that the deaths of the iraqi children were worth it. So after all they weren't.
So what now? She admitted that she was worng, she admitted that the policy was worng, she even admitted that they were resposbile for these deaths.
They were not worth it, just as simple as that. try telling that to the children parents.
So what now? are they going to put her on trail? are they going to put her in prison for killing all those children? Well.... What do you think? Of course not. Why would they? She apologized, didn;t she?
She said she was sorry, that's it. I mean, what in god's name do you want more? Do u want like giving the families any compensation or reparation ?Do you want for the unites states to apologize for imposing that deadly embargo, which, according to the former secretry of state caused the deaths of no less than a million child, most of them infants? Naaaaah, she apologized.
So shut your mouths and forget about it, it's in the past. Let it go already. They were propably going to be pro-saddam, thats enough reason to kill them.
3 men were killed in faluja and the americans desrtyoed the city over the heads of the people living in it, militants and civilians. But a million innocent child died for no reason appearently, and nothing. Americans don't think of other poeple, they are crying got thier 2000 men, but dont know nothing aobut the 200,000 Iraqis killed.What do u call that? Arrogance or Stupidity?

2005-11-30T22:15:00.000+03:00

THE FREEDOM WE SEEK

In the years to come, many would remember these days as the tragic road to freedom in iraq.
Freedom has price, to be free u must pay this price. Somtimes it is with blood, the blood of those who seek and struggle to be free. At the end, when the price is fully paid, they get thier prize.
During curent events in iraq, a lot of blood has been and being shed. The blood of the innocents is not the price for freedom. When brothers kill each other it is no mean to an end. It is mere killing. A crime.
No blood has beed shed to serve the cause of freedom. It only deepens the wounds if doesnt open new ones.
In the road to freedom, to free yourseld form your suppresor, one most not use the same ways of the former. Meaning to fight suppresion, one must not use the tools of the suppresion.
To understand what is happening there, let's take an example. In his struggle for civil rights, Martin Luther king said that freedom is not given, freedom is taken. He said that can not be free, unless he reaches a particular state of mind. In this state of mind one must reach the idea of him being free, he must know for a fact that all what he was toought was wrong, and a black man is no less a man than a white one, a black man can sit and eat where the white man can sit and eat. this is a specific state of mind.
In Iraq, we must reach this state of mind, we must realize that we are free to choose, and act accordingly. Unfortunatly, we still live 3 years ago, we dont act like we are free, that we have a democracy, that nobody can choose for us anymore, we didnt realize that till now. When we realize it, when we reach that mental state where all the things and actions of the past no longer make sense, therem and there only, is where we get our freedom.
One might argue that we already did that. We had elctions, we have a now a constitution approved by the majority of the Iraqi people.
Do we?
The elections was nothing but a facade, a charade if u will. What really happened is the shiite voted for the shiite, the kurds voted for the kurds, and the sunnies choose not to participate. What kind of democrasy is that?
The purpose of the constitution, is to unite the nation under one law, to put the pople of the nation together in harmony. Did we accomplish that? Appearntly no. The same thing happend, the shiite voted yes, and the sunnies voted no. What about the constitution itself, does it gather us? sadly no. It rather legitimizes seperation and division.
The point was to minimize the control of the central goverment over the provinces, in fear that a strong central goverment may be threat to the people. They didnt overcome the past three years, they are still living in the year 2003. They didnt wake up to start building a new house, they are still trying to razq the old one.
We will never be free unless we come around, unless we change, unless we wake up and realize that the old house no longer exists.
We will not be free unless we reach a differsnt state of mind, unless we ralize that all what we have been doing in the past is wrong and we need a fresh start.
We will not be free unless we stop calling each other names.
We will not be free unless we stop killing our brothers, for our brothers are all we have.
We will not be free unless we realize that revenge in leading us nowhere, unless we realize that revenge is not a way to biuld a country, its a was od destryoing it.
To biuld is to forgive and forget and start fresh.
Sadly those poeple in power now are so blinded by thier revenge that they cant see no color but the color of blood.
I hope that there would be change, and I hope that the moment of change is near.